Holiday in Alola
by Prince Lutin
Summary: Based on Pokemon Sun and Moon. Red and Blue are on vacation in Alola, where they visit the four islands and go on all sorts of crazy escapades. CANCELED
1. Prologue

_**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Pokemon, Red, or Blue. They are property of Nintendo. I do, however, own some of the characters in the story._

 _This fanfic is rated T for profanity, violence, and mild suggestive themes. Not suitable for those under 13._

 _If you're confused about the references to Oak being Red's father, look to my other fanfics about Red and Blue. Just note that it's not canon._

 _This fanfic is based on the upcoming games Pokemon Sun and Moon, where Red and Blue appear as adults at the Battle Tree. This takes place a few months before the events of Pokemon Sun and Moon. This is my first Sun/Moon fanfic, so I hope I get some good reviews!_

* * *

 **THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRESENTS**

 **HOLIDAY IN ALOLA**

 **CHAPTER 1: PROLOGUE**

Red and Blue were relaxing on a plane, waiting to go to Alola. They were going to be spending three weeks in a tropical paradise, and staying at a hotel in Melemele Island. They were wearing their new outfits (the outfits they wear in Pokemon Sun and Moon).

"I'm so excited about this trip to Alola!" said Red. "Kanto's been pretty cold lately, so I'm glad to be getting some sunshine."

"And I'm looking to be getting weeks away from Pallet Town," said Blue.

"And the freezing cold," said Red. "Oak...I mean Dad said that they're in for a blizzard tomorrow."

"We can even visit Gramps' cousin Samson," said Blue. "You've met him before, right?"

"I've met him once or twice," said Red. "We'll probably get to know him better in Alola."

Red was looking at the TV on the back of the chair. It was showing a movie called My Pokemon's Keeper. The movie was about a girl named Hannah Fitzpatrick, a 13-year-old girl who sues her parents for pressuring her to give a kidney to her ailing Gardevoir. Red had seen it in theaters years ago.

"The in-flight movie is so dumb," said Red.

"Wait," said Blue, "the best scene is coming up." In the next scene, Hannah had won her case and was doing a victory dance after the trial - only to get hit by a truck and ending up braindead. Hannah's kidney is given to her Gardevoir and then Hannah finally dies.

"WHAT?" said Red. "That is so stupid! It rendered the whole plot moot."

"It seems like movies get dumber every day," said Blue.

"Indeed," said Red.

Red turned off the TV and looked at Blue.

"Let's talk about something else," said Red, reading the travel guide. "Hey! The sports store in Hau'oli City has a discount on athletic gear! There's also Ai-Ai's Chinese Buffet, the Alola Tourist Bureau, and the Alola National Institute! We'll have a lot to see. By the way, where are we staying again?"

"We're staying at the Luna-nui Hotel," said Blue. "It's the biggest hotel in Melemele Island. It's got everything you can think of - it's even got a huge two-story fish tank where you can observe fish Pokemon."

"I'm getting excited just thinking about it!" said Red. "Something tells me we're in for a big adventure."


	2. Melemele Island

**CHAPTER 2: MELEMELE ISLAND**

When the plane arrived at the airport in Hau'oli City, Red and Blue stepped out and looked around. They were in Melemele Island, a tropical paradise with coconut palm trees reaching out to the sky, hibiscus flowers blooming everywhere, and Oricorio singing in the trees.

"Whoa," said Red. "Simply breathtaking!"

"See?" said Blue. "I told you - Alola is the most beautiful place in the world!"

"I can believe that," said Red. "Hey, look! There are no billboards anywhere."

"Yep," said Blue. "Billboards are illegal in Alola. But they do have lots of posters." Red and Blue took their luggage down to the airport and did lots of boring luggage checks. Red found this annoying - he kept telling the airport staff that he and Blue weren't terrorists.

After the two were done with all the boring checks, Red and Blue made their way to the Luna-nui Hotel, where they checked in. Red and Blue's suite was on the fifth floor. The two of them got a nice room that overlooked the hotel's gigantic swimming pool, which was flanked by palm trees.

"So, Red," said Blue, "what do you want to do first?"

"Well," said Red, "it's already after noon, so I think we should do some sightseeing and grab a quick bite to eat."

"Okay," said Blue.

Red and Blue went on the bus tour of Hau'oli City. The tour guide told them about the various places in the city. Red and Blue found the guide boring, but they were thrilled by all the sights. After being tired out from the tour, they got off the bus near a McDonald's, where they had lunch. While they were on their way back to the hotel, Red and Blue talked.

"Do you think there's any good places to drink here?" asked Blue.

"I'd advise staying away from the bars," said Red. "I'd rather not see you get kicked out of a taxi after drinking like last time."

"Alright," said Blue. "Do you feel like going shopping?"

"Sure," said Red. "There's an athletic store on the way to the hotel. I've got plenty of money to spare."

Red and Blue stopped by the athletic store, which had all kinds of sports gear. The two of them looked around for sports gear. Blue was checking out knee pads, while Red was looking in the bargain bin.

"Hey, look!" said Red, holding up a swim cap with a drawstring tied to it. "It's one of those swim caps that the lifeguards wear on _Pokemon Surf Blokes_."

"Oh, Red," chuckled Blue, "no one thinks those are cool."

"Well, I do," said Red. "Now to find a swimsuit that goes with this."

Red walked over to the swimsuit section, where they had all sorts of tight swimsuits. He looked for a swimsuit in his size, eventually picking out a red speedo with lime green and white stripes on the sides. He looked at the price tag.

"Sounds like a good deal to me," said Red. "I'll find one for Blue too." Red picked out a navy blue speedo with light blue side stripes. He walked over to Blue and gave the swimsuit to him. "Here you go, Blue."

"Thanks," said Blue.

Red and Blue looked around for more sports gear. In addition to their swimsuits, Blue got knee pads, basketball shorts, and a pedometer, while Red got sweatbands and a cycling shirt and pants. Afterwards, they made their way back to the hotel.

Once the two of them were back at the hotel, they rested. Red took off his pants, socks, and shoes, and climbed into bed, and Blue did the same.

"It sure is hot out," said Blue.

"It's good that we are inside resting," said Red. "I'm tired."

"I'm going to talk to Gramps on Skype," said Blue. "We're not going to be going down to dinner for a few hours, so catch up on " Blue took out his laptop and talked to Professor Oak on Skype, while Red lay in bed resting.

"Blue's a nice guy," Red said to himself. "I'm glad to have a nephew like him. I wonder if Samson has realized that Professor Oak is my father. I think I'd be a little embarrassed to tell him that in person - I don't want to attract too much attention." Red looked outside and saw something really surprising - one of the trees was rising up a bit.

"Aw, shit! Did that tree just move?"

Red went over to the window and looked closer.

"It did! Is that a...Alola Exeggutor?"

Red was right - it was an Alola Exeggutor. It was walking around and bending its long, flexible neck. A Pom-Pom Style Oricorio was flying nearby. It landed on the balcony and started singing.

"This trip keeps getting weirder and weirder." Red went back to bed.

* * *

Meanwhile, deep in a secluded location in the woods of Melemele Island, Tapu Koko, Tapu Lele, and Tapu Fini, three of the four guardian deities of Alola, were talking with each other. Tapu Bulu was not present.

"I've got a bad feeling, sisters," said Tapu Koko. "The wroth hag has never attacked my sacred location before."

"She shall pay for this!" said Tapu Fini. "Someone has given her a power of a most wicked kind."

Tapu Lele twirled her hair.

"We need to recruit help," she said. "We need to do it without harming the natural environment."

"I don't trust these humans," said Tapu Koko. "Too wrapped-up in their own desires - especially those skull-bandits walking around causing all sorts of mayhem! I say we electrify them with the wrath of the gods!"

"Calm yourself, brother," said Tapu Fini.

"There is no sense in needless damage," said Tapu Lele. "But the wroth hag must pay for her wickedness - and so shall her white-clad workers and the skull-bandits."

"I have been looking for people who could help us," said Tapu Fini. "But as guardian deities, we cannot approach people directly, for it is not in our nature."

"This situation perplexes me," said Tapu Lele.

"It perplexes me as well," said Tapu Koko. "We will need to find a solution. We shall look for one, no matter what it takes."

"Our meeting is adjourned," said Tapu Fini.

The three guardian deity Pokemon went their separate ways.


	3. Pua's Pizza Palace

**CHAPTER 3: PUA'S PIZZA PALACE**

That evening, Red and Blue were looking over places to go in the brochure.

"Do you feel like going to the Chinese restaurant tonight?" Red asked Blue,

"Nah," said Blue. "Let's go to Pua's Pizza Palace. It's Alola's most famous animatronic restaurant chain. It's got over 50 different kinds of pizza and an animatronic band consisting of Alolan Pokemon. Let's go after 8 PM so we can see the nighttime band. During the daytime, the animatronics sing kid-friendly songs, but at night, once the kids are gone, they do costume switches and sing more 'adult' songs."

Red smiled.

"While you were asleep, I went to the cafe and got some raspberry-flavored soda," said Blue. "I know raspberry is your favorite flavor."

"Gee, thanks," said Red, taking a bottle of soda and drinking it. He looked down at his jeans on the floor. "I think I'll change into something else."

"Me too," said Blue. "We don't want to look like tourists."

That night, Red and Blue approached Pua's Pizza Palace. Blue was wearing a sky blue polo shirt and a pair of blue capris. Red was wearing a pink Hawaiian shirt and a pair of red capris.

"There are six animatronics," said Blue. "They are Pua the Alolan Rattata, Billy Bob the Bewear, Orval the Oranguru, Mindy the Pom-Pom Style Oricorio, Kanani the Ribombee, and Larry the Lycanroc. Mindy and Kanani are girls, and the rest are guys."

"What kind of weird pizzas do they have?" asked Red.

"Some of those pizzas have topics that you wouldn't even think they put on pizzas," said Blue.

Red and Blue walked into Pua's Pizza Palace. The place had tables and chairs, kiddie decorations, a play area with a ball pit and cavernous tunnels, crappy arcade games, people in costumes, a bar where adults could get drinks, and animatronics of the characters. There was also a Salazzle animatronic near the counter.

"Wow!" said Red. "This place is cool!"

Red and Blue took their seats. A young woman with a red flower in her right ear walked over to the table.

"Hello," she said. "Welcome to Pua's Pizza Palace! I am your waitress, Keani. Here are your menus."

Keani handed some menus and a plate of soda crackers.

"So, what would you like to drink?" she asked.

"Do you have any mocktails?" asked Red.

"Why, of course!" said Keani. "All of our cocktails have non-alcoholic versions."

"I'll take a Blue Hawaii mocktail," said Red.

"And I'll take a Lava Lava," said Blue.

"Thank you!" said Keani, writing down the orders. "I'll be back with your drinks."

Blue looked at Red.

"I forgot that you're a teetotaler now," said Blue. "How long has it been?"

"Six weeks," said Red.

Red looked at the menu again. When Keani came back with the drinks, Red decided to order an appetizer.

"Start us off with the pu pu platter," said Red.

"Sure thing," said Keani.

When Keani left, Red and Blue looked at the menu. There were dozens of pizzas to choose from, many of them weird.

"Hmm..." said Red. "I thought pineapples were weird, but look at this one. Look at the Bewear Pizza. It's got extra cheese, pineapples, gummi bears, and bubblegum."

"That's nothing," said Blue. "This is the Mudsdale Pizza. It's got apples, lettuce, carrots, and chocolate."

"I've found a pizza that's even weirder than both of those combined," said Red. "Here's the Tsareena Pizza. It's got mangosteen, bananas, spinach, cookie crumbs, candy leaves, and strawberry marshmallows. And you can make it hot and spicy for an additional 100 Poke Dollars."

"I think we have a winner," said Blue. "Let's get it!"

After several minutes, the Salazzle animatronic started talking.

"HEY! WHO ORDERED THE PU PU PLATTER?"

Red was startled.

"Don't worry," said Blue. "Sassy always says that. She's usually not much of a talker, though."

Keani came over with the pu pu platter.

"Here is your pu pu platter," said Keani. "Are you ready to order your main course?"

"Yes," said Red. "We'll have the Tsareena Pizza. - and make it spicy."

"One Spicy Tsareena Pizza?" said Keani.

"Yep," said Blue.

"Your pizza will be ready in 20 minutes," said Keani.

Keani walked away.

Red and Blue finished their pu pu platter and then proceeded to order the pizza.

"Want to kill some time?" asked Blue.

"Sure," said Red. "Let's play some of the arcade games."

Red and Blue went over to the arcade. First, they went to the skill crane. This machine was full of Pokemon dolls.

"Let me have a go first, my dear uncle," said Blue.

Blue popped in a coin and tried to make the claw grab one of the animals. He grabbed a Stufful doll, but then the claw lost grip on the doll, dropping it back in with the other dolls.

"You lose!" said the machine, which played the sound of evil giggles.

"Fucking machine!" said Blue.

"Too bad," said Red. "I'll give it a try."

Red inserted a coin into the machine and started playing. He used the claw to grab a Cutiefly doll, which Red brought to the corner and out of the machine.

"You win!" said the machine as it lit up.

"What do you want to play next?" asked Red.

Red went to play Whack-a-Diglett, while Blue played a driving game. Blue saw a pink-haired guy playing Skee Ball at the machine that was next to him. He threw a ball into the machine, and a huge ribbon of tickets came out.

"YES!" said the guy as he jumped up and down. "Now I can trade in these tickets to get that giant stuffed banana!"

"Can you keep it down?" Blue ashed him.

"Sorry," said the guy. "My name is Ilima. I'm one of the Trial Captains. Know about the Island Trial?"

"Yes," said Blue. "I don't have time to. I've got a pizza waiting in a few minutes."

"Do you want to see the animatronics?" asked Ilima. "They're getting the nighttime animatronics ready."

"I better get Red," said Blue.

"Wait a minute..." said Ilima. "You're Blue? And your friend is Red?"

"Yep," said Blue.

"I can't believe I've met you!" said Ilima. "I've seen you battle on TV. You're such a great Trainer!"

"Of course I am." said Blue. "But unfortunately we have to get our pizza now."

"If you want," said Ilima, "I can show you around Hau'oli City."

"Sure," said Blue. "Smell you later!"

Ilima just stared at Blue as he walked away.

Red and Blue arrived back at the table, where Keani was bringing a pizza. Keani was kind enough to give them refills for their drinks.

"Bon appetit," said Keani.

Red and Blue dug in to their pizza.

"This pizza is so weird," said Red, "but it tastes good!"

"Who knew such a ridiculous pizza could be so delicious?" said Blue.

"Hey look!" said Red. "The animatronics are out."

The curtains on stage opened to reveal the animatronics. There was Pua, an Alolan Rattata in a black leisure suit, Billy Bob, a Bewear in a white tuxedo, Orval, an Oranguru in a black tuxedo, Mindy, a Pom-Pom Style Oricorio in a pink cheerleading skirt and a red top that exposed her midriff, Kanani, a Ribombee in a green evening gown, and Larry, a Midnight Form Lycanroc in a biker outfit. Pua did vocals for male singers, Kanani did vocals for female singers, Mindy played the tambourine, Orval was on keyboard, Billy Bob was on guitar, and Larry was on drums.

"Hey, party-goers!" said Pua. "Are you ready to rock?"

Blue and Red cheered.

"Then let's get down tonight!"

The animatronics started playing Mambo No. 5 as Red and Blue ate their pizza. Afterwards, the animatronics played other songs, such as Some Nights, California Gurls, Poker Face, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Candy Shop, Gimme More (which had Mindy saying "It's Britney, bitch"), You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Party, Baby Got Back, and more. Blue, Red, and other people in the restaurant clapped their hands to the music - Blue and Red even sang along.

"Boy, this trip sure is getting scary," said Red, "but I like it."

"Me too," said Blue.


	4. Hotel Hijinks

_**A/N:** I've planned out my ideas for Red and Blue's vacation. Red and Blue will be visiting all four islands in Alola - they will go in the order of islands in Sun and Moon (first Melemele, then Akala, then Ula'ula, and then Poni.)_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 4: HOTEL HIJINKS**

Late at night, Red and Blue went back to the hotel. Red took his Cutiefly doll with him. The two of them were tired out, so they went to bed.

The next day, Red and Blue were greeted by the sound of birds chirping. Blue, who was in the bed further away from the window, woke up.

"Morning already?" he said.

Not long after, Red, who was in the bed closer to the window, woke up too.

"Good morning, Blue," said Red.

"Good morning, Red," said Blue.

"What's on the agenda for today?" Red asked Blue.

"Well," said Blue, "first we're going to take a tour of the Alohi Palace, since on the plane you said you wanted to visit it."

"That's right," said Red.

"After that, we're going back to the hotel so we can go in the pool," said Blue. "At night, we're going to Ai-Ai's Chinese Buffet."

"Sounds good to me," said Red. "It's supposed to rain tonight, though it won't affect any of our activities during the day."

Red and Blue got dressed and had breakfast. Then they left the hotel. First, the two went to the city center, where the Alohi Palace stood. This was where the Alola Royal Family dwelt until their overthrow in 1893. Red and Blue gazed at the beautiful building, which was decorated with palm trees. Cutiefly were flying through the air, pollinating the tropical flowers in the gardens.

"Wow," said Red. "It's even prettier than I expected. ...Blue, don't sit in the chairs!"

Red and Blue took a tour of the palace, exploring all the rooms and their beautiful Victorian decor. Red took lots of pictures. At the gift shop, Red bought a tiki depicting Tapu Koko.

Afterwards, the two spent their afternoon at the pool. Red and Blue put on the speedos they bought at the sports store. Red sat under an umbrella while Blue swam in the pool.

"Come on in," said Blue. "The water's great!"

"In a few minutes," said Red. "I just want to work on my tan a bit."

"Whatever," said Blue.

After about fifteen minutes of tanning, Red went to get some pool toys and came back to the pool. He jumped in the deep end. The two of them played with a beach ball and relaxed on the inner tubes. Red also liked floating on the surface and found it relaxing.

"I feel drowsy," said Red.

Blue looked up at the sky. Storm clouds were approaching.

"Looks like clouds are starting to come in," said Blue.

"Should we get out?" asked Red.

"I think we should," said Blue. "Let's head into the gym." The two of them got out of the pool and hung towels on their shoulders. Then they went to the gym and exercised for a bit. Red ran on the treadmill while Blue did some weightlifting.

Forty minutes into their exercises, a tourist with a little girl in tow opened the door and entered the gym.

"Mommy!" said the little girl. "There's naked people in the gym!"

The mother looked at Red and Blue with a pissed-off expression.

"Let's just walk nonchalantly out the back door," Red whispered to Blue.

"Good heavens!" said the mother. "Don't you faggots know that wearing speedos in front of children is disgusting and inappropriate! Think of the children, for God's sake!"

"You don't have to be so rude," said Red.

"Or so homophobic," said Blue. "This guy right here is my uncle. We're not a couple. We're not even gay."

"I have a fiancee back home," said Red. The mother growled at them.

Red and Blue quickly exited the room while the exasperated mother growled. She tried to report Red and Blue, but luckily the hotel staff dismissed her complaints. When Red and Blue were back in their room, they felt relieved.

"I don't like that woman," said Blue.

"Chill out," said Red. "She can't bother us here. Now let's get dressed and get ready for Ai-Ai's Chinese Buffet. Once we get back, I'll make plans for tomorrow."

Red and Blue got changed for Ai-Ai's Chinese Buffet and took a cab to get there. The two of them enjoyed tons of food and desserts. The rain outside didn't bother them at all. Once they went back to the hotel they called it a day.

That night, while Blue was sleeping, Red heard thunder outside. He sat up in his bed and looked out the window.

"Could that be Tapu Koko?" he asked himself. "It sounds angry. ...Nah, it's just thunder. Better ignore it and lay myself to sleep." Red lay down and slowly drifted off to sleep.


	5. Ilima

**CHAPTER 5: ILIMA**

Red and Blue awoke the next day to a bright, sunny day. Red told Blue of his plans for the day. First, Red and Blue were going to spend some time at the beach. Later that day, they would go pick up some malasada for a snack. Afterwards, the two would take the bus to Iki Town and see the Ruins of Conflict, a sacred site dedicated to Tapu Koko.

First things first, Red and Blue arrived at the beach in their new swimsuits, with Red even putting on his swim cap. The two of them walked along the shore, gazing at the Wingull and Pelipper, before finding a spot to relax. Blue was busy trying to woo pretty girls in bikinis. He walked up to two of them and twinkled his fingers at them.

"Hey, ladies," said Blue seductively.

"Ew!" said one of the girls, giving Blue the middle finger.

"Let's walk away from that creep," said the other girl.

Blue then saw a pretty blonde girl in a pink string bikini and started to wolf whistle at her.

"Akamu!" yelled the girl.

A big guy in a white tank top and red board shorts walked over to blue. This guy was the girl's boyfriend.

"Hey," said Akamu, pounding his fist, "You better stay away from my girl, or you're dead meat."

Blue gulped as the guy walked away.

"Thanks for the defense, Akamu," said the blonde girl.

"No problem, dearie," said Akamu.

Blue walked over to Red.

"Hey look!" said Red. "There's a Wailmer swimming near the horizon!"

"Wanna play volleyball, Red?" asked Blue.

"Okay," said Red.

Red and Blue walked over to the volleyball net, where they played a game of volleyball. Red wasn't very good at it, though. He hit the ball high, but it ended up bopping someone on the head. The person doing it was walking over.

"Sorry..." said Red.

"It's Ilima!" said Blue.

"That's okay," said Ilima.

"What are you doing here?" asked Red.

"I'm busy doing some training," said Ilima. "Nice swim cap!"

"Thanks," said Red, blushing. "Where are your Pokemon?"

"They're at home," said Ilima. "I'm training myself. I'm supposed to be taking part in a triathlon next week and I need to be ready for it. Will you be there for it?"

"I'm afraid not," said Red. "We're checking out of the Luna-nui Hotel in two days and going to Akala Island. Maybe we'll watch it on television."

A fat guy in tie-dye boardshorts walked over to Ilima.

"Ilima!" he said. "Good luck at the race!" The guy walked away.

"Thanks, Randy!" said Ilima. "That's Randy. He's really nice - he was my teacher back at the Trainers' School. He's competing in the triathlon too. The triathlon is a charity event to help raise funds for the Pokemon Trainers' School. We're trying to raise money so we can get new, up-to-date computers."

"Sounds like an awful lot for school technology," said Blue.

"I know," said Ilima. "But we're replacing every single computer in the school. Now to get out of these hot clothes."

Ilima took off his shirt, sweater vest, and pants, revealing a grey speedo and tank top with blue stripes on the right and red stripes on the left.

"I was supposed to have left all this clothes at home," said Ilima, "but Mom asked me to return her overdue library books, and you know it's improper to go into a building dressed like this. so I put my regular clothes over it. As for the race, we're collecting donations."

"Hold your horses, Ilima," said Blue. "You ain't getting any money from me."

Ilima rolled his eyes.

"I'll give you a donation," said Red, taking 6000 Poke Dollars out of his wallet.

"Thank you!" said Ilima. "I gotta bring my clothes home, and then I can start jogging." He took the money and put it in his bag. He also put his clothes in his bag, and took the bag and walked away.

Blue shrugged.

"Red!" said Blue. "I can't believe you would give away money for a fucking lame event. We're supposed to be spending money on important stuff, like cocktails and useless knick-knacks!"

"It's better to be nice," said Red.

"I know," said Blue. "But we should waste our money elsewhere. I hate giving to charity."

"Blue..." said Red.

Blue blushed.

"You're right," he said. "It's better not to be stingy. For now, let's enjoy the beach."


	6. Ruins of Conflict

**CHAPTER 6: RUINS OF CONFLICT**

When Red and Blue were done with the whole ordeal at the beach, they went back to the hotel, got dressed, and took the tour bus to Iki Town. While they were on the bus, they drove by a meadow full of Cutiefly and Oricorio.

Red was reading one of the brochures he brought from the hotel.

"It says here that there's no such thing as a male Bounsweet," said Red. "Weird."

"Shouldn't that be a good thing?" asked Blue. "I mean, try imagining a male Tsareena."

Red tried to imagine a male Tsareena, but the image that he got was pretty disturbing, so he zoned out for a bit.

"Told you so," said Blue.

"I didn't want to imagine such a terrible thing," said Red. He took a deep breath. "That's better. Now to go to the Ruins of Conflict. We should be there in ten minutes."

When the bus arrived, Red and Blue got off and found themselves on the Mahalo Trail. The tour guide showed them around the path leading up to the ruins, all the way up to the rickety bridge that stood above the ravine.

"That bridge is kind of creaky," said Red. "It looks like it's going to collapse,"

"Then why don't you get out Charizard and have him fly across?" asked Blue.

"Okay," said Red, "but I'm worried about angering Tapu Koko."

"I don't think Tapu Koko is going to mind," said Blue.

Red sent out Charizard, and he and Blue hopped on Charizard's back. The two of them flew across the ravine and landed on the other side. Red told Charizard to wait outside and keep guard. Red and Blue entered the Ruins of Conflict. It was dark, though light protruded from the ceiling. The walls were decorated with reliefs that depicted Tapu Koko.

"This place is creepy," said Red.

"To think there's no one else here," said Blue. "The place is completely deserted."

"I think there's a good reason why no one else is here," said Red.

"You're normally one who's willing to get into a challenge," said Blue.

"I know," said Red. "But someone might be looking for us."

"Who?" said Blue rudely. "Tapu Koko?"

"No," said Red, "but I have a feeling that it might be illegal for us to come here." Red and Blue soon came across the room with the altar. This blessed room had once been inaccessible to all but a select few, but with the abolition of the Alolan monarchy, anyone could access it. Red and Blue were awestruck.

"Wow...it's like a sanctuary."

Red and Blue looked around the room, and then walked up the steps to the altar.

"Go on...touch it..." said a voice.

"What was that?" asked Red. "Was that you?"

"It wasn't me," said Blue.

"Those who deface my altar shall face an untimely end!" said the voice.

"That's it!" said Red. "That's Tapu Koko!"

"Show yourself to us, Tapu Koko," said Blue.

A young man appeared out of the shadows. He had tan skin, long orange hair with a crest resembling a rooster's, and turquoise eyes. He wore a yellow cape and a yellow skirt. He looked like an Alolan chief from long ago.

"Excuse me," he said, "but I wouldn't touch that if I were you. Tapu Koko wouldn't like it."

"And who are you?" asked Blue.

"I am the keeper of the temple," said the young man. "I am here protecting it at all times."

"Should we leave now?" asked Red.

"Just note that this guy before you is my uncle Red," said Blue, "as in, the guy who stopped Giovanni and Team Rocket and saved Silph Co."

The young man looked at Red and Blue.

"Carry on, then," he said, "but heed my words, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT mess around with this temple!"

"We would never do such a thing," said Red.

Red and Blue bade farewell to the young man and left the ruins. Red and Blue mounted Charizard and returned to Hau'oli City.

Once Red and Blue were out of the ruins, the mysterious young man transformed, revealing himself to be Tapu Koko.

"Those kids are nice," he said to himself, "but I sense that the orange-haired one will be trouble. I better inform the other guardian deities about them!"

* * *

Red and Blue were sitting in their hotel room, thinking about the strange young man they met at the Ruins of Conflict.

"I have a feeling that that young man we met isn't a young man at all," said Red.

"How old do you think he is?" asked Blue.

"Older than anyone alive today," said Red. "I think that 'young man' was really Tapu Koko in disguise. I know one thing for certain, though - he doesn't seem to like you very much."

"You think so?" asked Blue.

Red laughed.

"Maybe," said Red. "But you do have a lot of grievances against you, like how you treated me on my Pokemon journey, how you made a lousy Champion, how you always say 'smell you later', and how you don't know what happened to your Raticate." At the mention of the word 'Raticate', Blue flinched back.

"Come on, Red," said Blue. "That's all water under the bridge. We were kids back then."

"I know," said Red. "I was just pulling your leg."

"Of course," said Blue. "I know you wouldn't let your favorite nephew be tormented - by you or a Pokemon disguised as a person."

Red nodded his head in agreement.

"Now let's just kick back and watch some TV," he said. "I bet they have all those dumb talk shows with the paternity tests and the out-of-control teenage girls." Red turned on the TV, which was playing a commercial.

 _Tonight on Perry Zinger, Duane is going to try to prove that he is NOT Nevaeh's father!_

"See?" said Red. "This TV has everything."

Blue laughed.


	7. Mall and Stuff

**CHAPTER 7: MALL AND STUFF**

Red and Blue hadn't seen the mall yet, so the next day they decided to go to the mall. The mall was a huge, sprawling three-story landmark that had tons of shops.

"Where are we going to go first?" asked Blue.

"Let's go to one of the clothes stores," said Red, "I think we should get something from Gracidea."

"Do you think we have enough money?" Blue asked Red.

"I think we do," said Red, "but let's not get carried away. The clothing there is very expensive."

Red and Blue went to Gracidea. Red bought a mint green collared shirt and a purple tie, while Blue bought a yellow collared shirt and a red tie. They made sure that the clothing went in the good bags and not the plain plastic bags.

"I think I'd like to get a new hat," said Red. "Let's stop at Hau'oli Hat Hut. Want to come with me?"

"Nah," asked Blue. "I'm going to go buy us some new sneakers. Smell you later!"

Red went to get a hat at Hau'oli Hat Hut, looking through several hats before deciding on a lavender top hat with a red feather. Blue looked at some sneakers, eventually deciding on a pair of green and white sneakers. While Red left the hat store and passed by the toy store, he saw a pair of little girls throwing a tantrum over a very expensive fairy princess castle.

"Lemonjello, Orangejello, calm down!" said the mother.

"MOMMY!" yelled Lemonjello. "IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE ONE ON THE TV!"

"IT ONLY COMES WITH ONE FAIRY PRINCESS!" yelled Orangejello. "THEY SAID THERE WOULD BE SEVEN!"

The little girls kicked and screamed while everyone in the toy store was staring at them.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Red said to the girls' mother, "but your daughters are being very loud and disruptive. What's wrong?"

"Their Princess Fairybelle Castle Playset didn't look like the one that was advertised on TV," said the girls' mother.

Lemonjello and Orangejello ripped open the box, picked up the castle playset and threw it at Red.

"FUCKING FAGGOT!" the twins yelled as they hurled the castle and the accessories at Red. Red managed to jump out of the way, protecting his new hat, and flinched while Lemonjello and Orangejello started to run down the mall screaming and crying.

"WAAAAAAAAAAA! WE WANT TO GO HOME!"

"I'm sorry, young man," said the mother, trying to be polite, "but Lemonjello and Orangejello are very special little girls. I only want what's best for them." Red walked away, and while he left, he saw the mother furiously running after the girls.

"YOU GIRLS ARE GOING TO BE SOOOOO GROUNDED!" yelled the mother.

Blue walked by.

"Fucking brats ought to be kept on a leash," said Blue.

"Those two girls are little demons," said Red. "Besides, who in the right mind would name their kids Lemonjello and Orangejello?"

"I hope that mother gives her badly-named brats a real good spanking," said Blue.

"I'm just glad that I'm not hurt," said Red.

To forget about that incident, Red and Blue went to the food court, where they decided to order lunch. Red and Blue ordered some Philippine food from one of the counters. Afterwards, they ordered some cookies from the bakery.

After Red and Blue walked around the mall some more, they left and went on another tour. The two of them went sightseeing on the east coast of Melemele Island, even stopping by Melemele Meadow, where the two did some training - Red even caught a Cutiefly. They also visited the Alolan National Institute before going back to the hotel.

That night, Red and Blue were busy planning their trip to Akala Island, the island to the east of Melemele Island. The two of them were going to take the ferry to Akala Island and stay at a hotel in the Hano Grand Resort.

"I can't wait to go to Akala Island," said Red.

"It will be great," said Blue. "There's a lot more to see there. It's not as built-up as Melemele Island."

"That sounds good," said Red. "I can do without people like those two brats at the mall." Red sighed. "I think it's better that I just think happy thoughts"

"Agreed," said Blue.


	8. Akala Island

_**A/N:** Yeah, we're finally getting to Akala Island. I love talking about food and dining and describing it in fanfics (which isn't surprising considering I weigh almost 300 pounds). I'll try to think of more activities for Red and Blue to do while they're in Akala Island._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 8: AKALA ISLAND**

The next morning, Red and Blue checked out of the Luna-nui Hotel and took the ferry to Akala Island.

When Red and Blue arrived in Heahea City, they were struck by the city's warm, welcoming atmosphere.

"Where are we staying again?" Blue asked Red.

"We're staying at the Hano Grand Resort for seven nights," said Red. "Oak...er, Dad helped pay for it since it's really expensive. There's a lot to do in Akala Island. In the north we have Brooklet Hill, Wela Volcano, and Lush Jungle. In the south, there's Konikoni City and the Ruins of Life, which is dedicated to Tapu Lele."

Red and Blue checked into the hotel, which took nearly an hour and a half since the resort was always busy, but Red and Blue finally managed to get a nice spot on the third floor of the hotel. Their room was in the northwest of the hotel, and they could see Wela Volcano in the distance."

Once Red and Blue were upstairs, Red and Blue kicked back and relaxed.

"This hotel's even better than the first one!" said Red. "You even get room service!"

"They've even got TVs with over 1,000 channels!" said Blue, "and in over 20 languages, including Hawaiian."

"I don't even feel like doing anything today," said Red. "The beds are so comfortable, I could just sleep here all week."

"We can't just sleep all week," said Blue. "Otherwise, we'd miss out on all the fun."

"I'd like to visit Big Mamu's Luau Lanai," said Red. "We'll get to meet Big Mamu."

"Who's Big Mamu?" asked Blue,

"She's one of Alola's most famous restaurateurs," said Red. "She used to be a hula dancer." He showed a picture of her in the brochure. "This is what she looks like."

"She's really...big," said Blue.

"Her weight makes her sassy," said Red, "plus fat is considered beautiful in Alolan culture."

"It is?" asked Blue.

"Yes," said Red.

"Hopefully no one will mistake us for being gay," said Blue.

"I doubt it," said Red. He looked at the brochure. "Akala has a lot of great restaurants. There's a Portuguese restaurant near the beach called the Blue Goshawk. It specializes in fish. Portugal really loves fish."

"Maybe we can visit both restaurants while we're here," said Blue. "The hotel comes with a nice buffet, and I'm not missing out on it."

"Me neither," said Red. "I've paid too much money to let a buffet go to waste."

That evening, Red and Blue went to the buffet. The buffet had a huge mix of Chinese, Japanese, Hawaiian, and Western food. There was a lot of delicious unhealthy food cooked in peanut oil and loaded with MSG. Blue even got a little bowl of poi, the traditional Alolan staple food made from the taro plant. Blue tried his poi.

"Yuck!" said Blue. "This tastes like glue! People in Alola actually _eat_ this garbage?"

"Yes," said Red. "They've been eating it for centuries. Try the lo mein instead. It's really good!"

"I can tell," said Blue, looking at the mountain of lo mein on Red's plate. "I've never seen you turn down lo mein." Blue looked closer at Red's plate. "Lo mein on pizza? That sounds like something from Pua's Pizza Palace."

"It does," said Red. He took a bite from it. "But it's good. I think I'm putting on weight. I've already gained nearly four pounds since I first arrived in Alola."

"Me too," said Blue. "The food here's not very healthy."

"It sure isn't," said Red. "But I don't care. It's delicious - that's what matters."

Red and Blue continued to eat. After dinner, they had lots of unhealthy desserts. Then they spent the rest of the evening in their rooms digesting the heart attack-inducing food they guzzled up.


	9. Big Mamu

**CHAPTER 9: BIG MAMU**

Red and Blue woke up to another sunny day. First, the two of them decided to go to the pool and chill out. Red and Blue wore their swimsuits. The two of them kicked back and relaxed in the hot sun.

"This is the life," said Blue. "We've got the sun, the surf, and cocktails."

"You said it, bro," said Red.

"You're lucky you've got that baseball cap to protect your face," said Blue. "My face is turning red from all that sunlight." He looked down at his body. "Whoa! I seem to be developing speedo tan lines." He looked at Red. "Red's getting them too."

"Huh?" said Red.

"Nothing, Red," said Blue.

Red blushed and giggled.

"Hey, Red?" said Blue.

"Yes?" said Red.

"Can you put some sunscreen on me?" asked Blue,

"Sure," said Red.

Red applied sunscreen to Blue, putting some on his chest and his shins. Blue sighed in delight.

"Ah, that feels good!" said Blue. "I see you're sweating a lot."

"I know," said Red.

"I'll get it off for you," said Blue.

Blue brought his chair closer to Red and started rubbing the sweat off of Red's hair and shoulders. He then rubbed the sweat dripping down Red's upper chest. Red started giggling and moaning in delight.

"That's quite enough of that," said Red. "I don't want a repeat of that incident at the Luna-nui Hotel."

"Agreed," said Blue. "Now let's go for a swim."

"Fine by me," said Red.

The two of them jumped in the pool and swam around.

That night, Red and Blue got ready for Big Mamu's Luau Lanai. They put on the same outfits that they wore to Pua's Pizza Palace. When they were ready, they took a cab to the restaurant.

Red and Blue entered the restaurant and looked for a table. Big Mamu walked over to greet Red and Blue, for she had heard a lot about them. Big Mamu was a fat Hawaiian lady in a light green muumuu with yellow flowers. She had a beauty mark on her right cheek.

"Welcome, welcome to Big Mamu's Luau Lanai," said Big Mamu. "I have a special table for you."

Big Mamu seated Red and Blue at the table of honor, where she gave them leis to wear. Four young women, three fat and one skinny, came over to serve them a breadbasket and poi.

"These are my daughters," said Big Mamu, "Noelani, Mililani, Lokelani, and Kealani." Kealani was the only skinny one.

"Here are your menus," said Kealani, handing Red and Blue some menus.

"I'll leave you two be," said Big Mamu, walking away.

Noelani, Mililani, and Lokelani giggled.

"Sisters," said Noelani, "which one of these guys is going to be my future husband?"

"I prefer the one with the cap," said Lokelani.

"I like this guy," said Mililani, patting Blue on the shoulder.

Blue groaned.

"What's wrong with you?" he said.

"Nothing, boys," said Noelani. "We're just flirting."

"But you have to admit it," said Mililani, "these guys are cute."

"Perhaps two of us could go on a double date with these guys," said Lokelani.

"I think we're busy," said Red. "Sorry."

"I have to go to the bathroom," said Blue.

Blue made his way to the bathroom, but he went so fast that he accidentally knocked over a tiki, breaking it. Big Mamu walked over to it.

"You broke Kilohana!" exclaimed Big Mamu.

"Sorry, Big Mamu" said Blue.

"'Sorry' don't cut the cheese," said Big Mamu.

Blue groaned. Kealani walked over.

"She's only teasing," said Kealani. "It's no big deal. People break our tikis all the time. I can make a new Kilohana - I'll start working on him tonight." She turned to Blue. "Sorry if my older sisters are driving you crazy. They like to flirt with skinny guys."

"I've noticed," said Blue.

When Blue got back from the bathroom, he noticed that Noelani, Mililani, and Lokelani weren't there, which was a great relief. He and Red decided to order a pu pu platter as an appetizer - and some pineapple soda on the side.

"At least this place doesn't have any talking Salazzle animatronic exclaiming 'who ordered the pu pu platter'," remarked Blue.

"I kinda miss Sassy," said Red. "She was sassy alright."

Red and Blue had their pu pu platter, and then they decided to order a big meal for their main course - a traditional Alolan pig roast with a side of vegetable dumplings. The pig even had an apple in its mouth. Red and Blue immediately dug into their food.

Big Mamu and her daughters walked over.

"For dessert, we have a surprise," she said. "Chantilly cake and kulolo."

"Sounds delish," said Red.

"It even comes with a Tapu Cocoa," said Kealani.

"We also have live music for you," said Big Mamu. "My daughters are skilled hula dancers."

Blue flinched at the thought of the three fat sisters hula dancing.

Big Mamu's daughters took to the stage while a waitress brought them dessert. Red and Blue watched Noelani, Mililani, Lokelani, and Kealani dance gracefully. Blue tried to focus on Kealani and ignore her sisters. After the dance was over, Red and Blue ate their Chantilly cake and kulolo. Big Mamu and her daughters walked over.

"How was your luau, kahunas?" asked Big Mamu.

"It was delicious," said Red. "And your hula dance was lovely."

"Thanks," said Kealani.

"I think we know who I'm going to take out," said Lokelani.

"No, Red's going with me," said Noelani.

"I still think Blue is the man for me," said Mililani.

"I think he's cute too," said Lokelani.

"Me three," said Noelani.

Blue groaned again.

"Sorry girls," said Red. "I have a fiancee. My fiancee Leaf is back in Kanto." Red looked at Blue. "I know these girls are nice at all, but I wouldn't want Leaf to get mad."

"I agree," said Blue. "These three girls are creepy."

Red and Blue looked back at Kealani.

"Thanks for treating us to a wonderful night," said Red.

"'A'ole pilikia," said Big Mamu.

"That means 'you're welcome'," said Kealani.

Once they were done, Red and Blue went back to the hotel. The two of them got undressed and sat on their beds in their underwear.

"Big Mamu's Luau Lanai was great," said Red, "Big Mamu was very hospitable. And I loved how Noelani, Mililani, and Lokelani kept trying to flirt with you."

"It was so fucking annoying being around them," said Blue. "But Kealani was nice."

"She was," said Red. "Hope we see her again."

"Just so long as she doesn't bring her sisters," said Blue.


	10. Golfing

**CHAPTER 10: GOLFING**

The next morning, Red and Blue decided to go golfing on the hotel's 18-hole golf course. The two of them brought their golf outfits - Red wore a green golf shirt with black and white checks, a blue tie, green plaid golf pants, green stockings that matched his shirt, and a green golf hat, while Blue wore a yellow golf shirt with white and beige checks, beige golf pants, and white stockings. Red and Blue rented some golf clubs.

"You never like to go without a hat, do you, Red?" asked Blue.

"That's right," said Red.

"You look like a dork," said Blue.

Red giggled.

"So do you," he told Blue.

Blue scowled.

"Let's flip a coin to see who goes first." said Blue.

Blue took out a coin. "Heads or tails?"

"Tails," said Red.

Blue flipped the coin.

"Tails!" said Red. "Looks like I go first."

Red and Blue started at Hole 1. Red hit the ball with a 7-wood golf club, and ran over to where it landed. Then it was Blue's turn - Blue grabbed his 2-iron and swung it, making the ball land in the bunker.

"Aw, shit!" said Blue. "I forgot that I'm not good at golf."

When it was Red's turn, he used a 6-iron to swing the ball towards the hole, making it land within a few feet. Then it was Blue's turn. Blue swung the ball again, but he couldn't get the ball out of the bunker.

"You may be a good Pokemon Trainer," said Red, "but you really suck at golf."

"Way to rub it in my face, jerk," said Blue.

Red then got another turn - he used his putter to swing the ball into the hole. But Blue couldn't keep up. It took eight turns for Blue to get his ball into the hole, three of which were spent trying to get the ball out of the bunker.

Red and Blue spent the rest of the morning playing golf, going hole by hole. Red finished with a decent score of 99, but Blue was appalled by his high score, for in golf, lower scores are good and higher scores are bad.

"163?" said Blue. "You beat me by over 60 points! I want a rematch!"

"Sorry," said Red, "but we've been playing for four hours, and it's getting close to noon. Otherwise we'll be here until it gets dark, and I want to do a lot more than just golf."

Red looked around and saw a small group of people photographing a periwinkle blue-haired woman in a golf uniform.

"Hey look!" said Red. "It's Kahili Falkowski, Alola's most famous golfer!"

Blue looked at Kahili.

"She's quite hot," said Blue. "Maybe she'd like to go out with me."

"I don't think she would," said Red.

"Why on earth not?" asked Blue.

"Kahili is a lesbian," said Red, "and she has a girlfriend. They're planning on getting married later this year."

Blue frowned.

Red and Blue ran up to Kahili. Kahili turned around and smiled at the two.

"Hello there!" said Red.

"Hello," said Kahili. "Are you fans?"

"Yes," said Red. "I'm Red, and this is my friend/nephew Blue."

"I've heard of you two," said Kahili. "You're two of Kanto's best Trainers. I've seen you battle on TV."

"Thanks," said Red.

"Finally some appreciation!" said Blue.

"Both of you are really stylish as well," said Kahili.

"Thanks," said Red.

"There's a certain orange-haired guy looking for a date tonight," said Blue, trying to flirt with Kahili.

"Sorry, Blue," said Kahili, "but I'm not into men. I have a girlfriend - her name's Marcella. She's over there." Kahili pointed to a butch-looking woman who was eating something on the deck. "She's eating loco moco, a popular comfort food in Alola. The one she's eating has Spam, but my mother makes it the traditional way, with fried eggs, gravy, and hamburger patties."

"Bleugh!" said Red and Blue.

"I know," said Kahili. "Loco moco is gross. Mom doesn't exactly have good taste in food. Did you know it's Spanish for 'crazy booger'?"

"I don't think I'm ever going to try loco moco," said Red. "I'd rather keep my stomach acid in my stomach."

"I'm glad to get appreciation from my fans," said Kahili. "Unfortunately, I can't give you an autograph since I don't have any pens on me. I travel all over the world competing in tournaments, but I decided to spend a few weeks here since I was getting a little homesick. I get a lot of appreciation here, but sometimes I have to deal with...her..."

"Who?" asked Blue.

"Paulina Gresham," said Kahili. "She's the girlfriend of one of my rivals, Justin Dodson. She's a fashion model and a real bitch who's really full of herself and loves ripping on me for being gay and seducing male golfers. And she's a daddy's girl - her dad used to play hockey. Boy I was so mad when she got the cover of Golf Digest instead of me - and she doesn't even play golf!"

"Did someone say my name?" asked a deep, sultry voice.

"Oh fuck," said Kahili. "Bad timing."

A tall, skinny blonde woman walked over seductively. She wore a pink halter top that said "candy girl" and short shorts that looked more like a bikini bottom than actual shorts. This was Paulina Gresham.

"I was busy drinking some courvoisier to wash down my laxatives," she said, "I see that Kahili's here with her two lesbros."

"She sounds exactly like Madonna," said Red.

"And I didn't know I was a lesbro," said Blue.

"So," said Kahili, "how was your date with your boyfriend's father?"

"It was marvelous," said Paulina seductively. She looked at Red and Blue. "Hey, boys." Paulina walked closer to Red. "How about we trade math equations, baby?"

Red cringed.

"She's not getting anywhere near me!" said Red, jumping back.

"Listen, doll face," said Paulina, "you'll never be as buxom as me. Why not get some implants and live like me? Then you wouldn't be needing those unsightly golf clubs anymore."

"No," said Kahili, "but I'd be full of unsightly diseases, judging by how much you get around."

"What?" said Paulina, flinching.

"Now get lost," said Red.

Paulina left in a huff, gyrating her hips as she walked in her black stilettos.

Marcella, Kahili's girlfriend, walked over.

"I saw that encounter with Paulina," she said. "That bitch better watch where she wanders. What kind of moron walks all over a golf course dressed in stilettos?"

"I know," said Kahili.

Kahili walked over to Red and Blue.

"Sorry about that," she said. "Paulina's a real pain in the ass. I hope what she said didn't bother you."

"It bothered me a little," said Red, "but I'll get over it. I've been hit on before."

"It's nothing," said Blue. "Paulina can go fuck herself."

"Me and Blue are going to return our golf clubs and get some pizza," said Red.

"Okay," said Kahili. "See ya!"

"Bye!" said Red and Blue, walking away.

Red and Blue returned their golf clubs, and afterwards they had a nice pizza lunch.


	11. Man-Eating Castles

**CHAPTER 11: MAN-EATING CASTLES**

After lunch, Red and Blue decided to go to the beach. They changed into their swimsuits and hit the beach. When they arrived, Red looked at a sign. It had a picture of a Palossand on it.

"Watch out for Palossand," read Red.

Blue looked at the sign and laughed.

"Oh, come on," said Blue. "That thing looks pathetic. They're actually kind of cute."

"Palossand is a cute Pokemon," said Red, "but they are extremely dangerous. They hypnotize you into tending them, which makes them stronger. They even eat small Pokemon by sucking them into the vortex. My guidebook also says that female Palossand are particularly aggressive during the breeding season, and they'll brutally attack anything that tries to harm their baby Sandygast."

"Yeesh," said Blue. "It's strange how such a scary thing could live near a resort!"

"That's why the grotto under the bluffs to the north is off-limits to people who aren't Trainers," said Red. "Over there, Palossand and Sandygast congregate in large numbers."

Red and Blue sat down at the beach and started working on their tans.

"It sure is a scorcher," said Red.

"Want to look at the clouds?" Blue asked Red.

"There aren't any clouds in the sky," said Red.

Blue looked up at the sky.

"Oh," said Blue. "Let's go swimming."

"That would be great!" said Red.

Red and Blue went swimming in the water. The warm waters of the ocean were refreshing. While Red was swimming, he heard the sound of vomiting. He lifted his leg and saw that it was covered in slime.

"Yuck!" he said. "I think I stepped on a Pyukumuku."

"Just wave your leg around in the water and the slime will come off," said Blue.

Red did what Blue told him to do, and surely enough, the slime came off.

"That's better," said Red.

"I know!" said Blue. "Why don't we swim over to that sandbar?"

"I don't know," said Red. "The sand there is shaking."

"Come on, Red," said Blue. "Don't be a pussy."

Red looked at Blue and scowled..

"Let's get it on," he said.

Red and Blue raced to the sandbar, which was separated from the beach by the high tide. Blue beat Red to the sandbar and held on to a palm tree.

"Ha ha!" he said. "I told you I'd win."

"I don't know about this place," said Red. "The sand here is shaking."

"I know, you dope," said Blue.

Blue walked closer to the shaking sand. A few Sandygast gathered there. They started to hypnotize Blue.

"Aw, they're so cute!" said Blue. He started petting them.

The Sandygast shot rays at Red, hypnotizing him.

"You're right," he said. "They are cute. Hey look! They're going somewhere."

Red and Blue followed the Sandygast over to a large sand castle, where they started to dance around. The shovel on the large sand castle started to twirl.

"Let's just spruce up this sand castle," said Blue.

"Yes," said Red. "Let's make it bigger and bigger!"

Suddenly, the large sand castle started to turn around.

"This sand castle is so nice," said Red.

"Let's fix it up," said Blue.

The sand castle slapped Red, which broke out of the hypnotic spell. When Red backed away and looked at Blue, he gasped.

"Blue!" said Red. "Watch out!"

"What?" Blue asked Red. "I'm busy tending this sand castle."

"That's not an ordinary sand castle!" said Red. "That's a Palossand!"

The Palossand turned around completely and looked at Red and Blue. She had an angry look in her eyes. She let out a deep, unsettling cry. Red immediately pulled Blue back.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" said Red.

Red and Blue started to run away from the Palossand, first crossing the sandbar, but the Palossand was savvy enough to cross the narrow channel and make it to land. Red and Blue continued fleeing, eventually hiding under the lifeguard stand (the lifeguard was not present). The Palossand started closing in on Red and Blue, who were cowering in fear.

Fortunately, a shadowy ball attacked the Palossand, causing it to scream and run away. Red and Blue looked up. A tall, skinny blond man about their age was standing nearby. He was wearing a black speedo and a purple sweatband. He had a Gengar accompanying him. It was Morty, the Gym Leader of Ecruteak City.

"Now get back to the sand pit where you came!" said Morty.

"Morty?" asked Red.

Morty walked over to Red and Blue.

"Don't worry," said Morty. "She's gone now. You can come out."

Red and Blue got out from under the stand and hugged Morty.

"Thanks for saving us," said Blue.

"Don't mention it," said Morty. "I've been here before, and if there's one thing I do well, it's handling Ghost-type Pokemon. I've actually caught at least one Palossand here."

"I'm still shocked," said Red.

"You have to be careful around Palossand," said Morty. "They hypnotize adults into tending them."

"That must have been what happened to us," said Red.

"What brings you here?" Blue asked Morty.

"I'm on vacation," said Morty. "My uncle is taking me on a safari in Lush Jungle in a few days."

"We went golfing earlier," said Red. "We met Kahili."

"I went golfing yesterday," said Morty. "The course here is very nice. But I especially like the beach. I just hope the lifeguard isn't going to be too pissed off"

Surely enough, the lifeguard approached them. He was a buff guy in a red speedo and sunglasses, and had a whistle around his neck.

"Excuse me, young men," he said, "but I saw you back there, and you know trespassing on Palossand breeding grounds is prohibited!"

Morty approached the lifeguard.

"It's okay, sir," said Morty. "These two are skilled Pokemon Trainers. The're friends of mine."

The lifeguard shrugged.

"Very well then," he said, "but I've got my eye on you two." The lifeguard walked away.

"Sorry about that," said Morty. "The lifeguard's a bit of a pain. Are you enjoying your stay in Alola?"

"Oh, yes," said Red.

"Definitely!" said Blue.

"By the way," said Morty, "there's a ball being held at the hotel tonight. Do you want to go?"

"Of course!" said Red. "But...we don't have anything nice enough for it."

"I could rent you a pair of tuxedos," said Morty.

"Thanks," said Red.

Morty yawned.

"I'm going to sunbathe some more," said Morty. "Want to come with me?"

"Yes," said Red.

Red and Blue spent some time with Morty before going back to the hotel.


	12. At the Ball

**CHAPTER 12: AT THE BALL**

Once nighttime came, Morty went to Red and Blue's suite to give them the tuxedos that he had rented for them. Red and Blue put them on, and also bathed themselves in cologne and other manly fragrances. The two of them styled their hair so they would be unrecognizable.

When Red and Blue left the room, they showed Morty their outfits. Morty almost fainted from the smell of their cologne.

"Well...let's get going," said Morty.

Morty brought Red and Blue over to the ballroom, which was full of people in fancy outfits.

"I just love your white tuxedo," said Blue.

"Thanks," said Morty. "If you need me, I'll be over at the food table."

Red and Blue walked over to the dance floor.

"Would you like to dance?" Blue asked Red.

"But we don't have women to dance with," said Red. "People will notice."

"What's wrong with that?" said Blue. "Look over there - Kahili's dancing with Marcella."

"But they're gay," said Red. "We're not gay."

"No one will notice," said Blue. "You want to be progressive, right?"

"Yes," said Red.

"So get your ass on the dance floor!" said Blue.

"Okay," said Red. "Maybe it won't be so bad."

Red and Blue held hands and started dancing. Soon after they started, Dancing Queen by ABBA started playing. Red and Blue gazed into each other's eyes as they danced together. They thought it felt magical, but at the same time kind of freaky. Blue even felt tempted to kiss Red on the cheek.

"Look at those two men dancing!" said one woman.

"They must be lovers," said another woman. "They should win Couple of the Year."

Red and Blue saw people clapping for them. Morty was giving them a thumbs-up, and Kahili waved hi to them. Red and Blue embraced.

Meanwhile, outside the window, Tapu Koko and Tapu Lele were watching the ball from out the window. Tapu Bulu and Tapu Fini floated behind them. They had rendered themselves invisible so onlookers wouldn't bother them.

"Those are the two men you were talking about?" said Tapu Bulu.

"Yes, brother," said Tapu Koko.

"Aw, they're in love!" said Tapu Lele.

"They seem harmless," said Tapu Fini.

"Let's just leave them alone," said Tapu Koko. "Even guardian deities need a break."

"'Tis true," said Tapu Bulu.

"But I would like to watch a little longer," said Tapu Lele.

Tapu Koko rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, the four of them heard the clock strike eleven.

"Let's just get out of here before anyone sees us!" said Tapu Koko.

"Okay..." said Tapu Lele.

The four guardian deities left.

* * *

Once the clock struck eleven, Red finally realized what he was doing. He saw some of the men and women snickering at him. (Thankfully, Morty and Kahili didn't say anything.) He felt so embarrassed, he ran out of the ballroom. Red hid himself behind a large potted plant.

"I can't believe I danced with another man," said Red. "Now everyone thinks I'm gay."

Blue ran over to see Red.

"Red?" he said.

"Yes?" said Red.

"What's wrong, Red?" asked Blue.

"I can't believed we slow-danced together in front of all those...people!" said Red.

"It's not a big deal," said Blue. "We were in the moment. I'm sure everyone will forget about it within a few days' time."

"Hey," said Blue. "Where's your shoe?"

"Oh, man!" said Red. "I left it in the ballroom. I must have been running too fast. I won't bother looking for it."

"We'll just go to the lost and found tomorrow," said Blue. "I'll take you up to our suite."

As it turns out, Morty had picked up the shoe. He told Kahili that he was trying to find Red. He held on to the shoe. After the ball was over, he went up to Red and Blue's suite. Red and Blue had changed out of their tuxedos and were relaxing. Morty knocked on the door, and Red opened it.

"Hi, Morty," said Red. "Thanks for finding my shoe." Red took the shoe.

"Hi, Red," said Morty. "I'm sorry about tonight. I'll try to make it up to you."

"You don't have to," said Red. "I'll just try to stick it out and get over it myself. I am upset, but I'll just have to move on."

Red and Blue handed the tuxedos they rented to Morty.

"Thanks," said Red.

"No problem," said Morty. "I'll return these tomorrow. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight, Morty!" said Red and Blue.

When Morty left, Red closed the door to his suite.

"Well," said Red, "it's fair to say that today was one of the craziest days of my life. I got to meet both Kahili and (unfortunately) Paulina Gresham, I nearly got eaten by a Palossand, and I danced with another man. But honestly, maybe dancing with you wasn't so bad after all, Blue."

"I agree," said Blue. "You're quite the dancer."

Red blushed.

"I'm beat," said Red. "Let's go to sleep."

"Fine with me," said Blue.

Red and Blue turned out the lights and went to bed.


	13. Hot Pants

**CHAPTER 13: HOT PANTS**

The next morning, Red and Blue woke up to a nice, sunny day. They looked at Wela Volcano out the window.

"I think I know where I want to go today," said Blue.

"Let's bring our Pokemon," said Blue. "And let's bring our special shorts." Red and Blue got dressed for the volcano. Red wore a red button-down shirt over a white tank top, black short shorts, sunglasses, and a black sun hat. Blue wore a black T-shirt and green short shorts.

Red and Blue took the shuttle to Wela Volcano Park and entered the park gazing up at the huge volcano. While they were staring up, the two of them heard girls giggling.

"What's with all the giggling?" said Red.

Three girls walked over. Red guessed (correctly) that they had seen them at the ball.

"It's you," said one of the girls.

"You're wearing short shorts," said another girl. "The gay couple dresses gay too."

Red growled.

"Enough with all this gay stuff!" he yelled.

"Besides," said Blue, "two of you are wearing shorts shorter than ours."

"It's different with us," said the third girl. "We're girls - we can wear short shorts."

Red growled again.

"We're here to see the volcano," said Blue. "Let's go, Red."

Red and Blue walked away as the girls continued to giggle.

"Such an unfair double standard," said Red.

"I know," said Blue. "Let's get to climbing the mountain."

Suddenly, an Alolan Marowak jumped out at the two, swinging its ghostly bone.

"I'll handle this," said Blue. "Go, Arcanine!" Blue sent out Arcanine.

"Arcanine, use Extreme Speed!" Arcanine rushed at the Marowak, attacking it.

Marowak used Stomping Tantrum, brutally attacking Arcanine.

"Arcanine, use Retaliate!" Arcdanine

Marowak used Fling, throwing its Thick Club at Arcanine.

Blue then used an Ultra Ball, tossing it at the Marowak. The ball shook three times, catching Marowak.

"Looks like I've finally caught an Alolan Pokemon," said Blue. "Wait until I show Gramps!"

"He'll be impressed," said Red.

Red and Blue climbed up the mountain, going until they reached a nice spot. They gazed all around.

"Whoa!" said Red. "You can see forever from up here!"

"Hey look!" said Blue. "There's a lava flow."

"I see," said Red. "All that lava is making it really hot up here."

"Hotter than our hot pants," said Blue.

On the side of the mountain, Red spotted some Salandit drinking lava, scooping it up with their claws.

"That's weird," said Red. "Won't they burn up?"

"Probably not," said Blue. "Many Fire-type Pokemon are known for their consumption of lava - kind of like vikings from Venus." Blue sighed in delight.

"Blue, stop that," said Red.

"Sorry," said Blue. "Did you know you can drink lava?"

"Yeah right," said Red.

"You can drink lava," said Blue, "but only once."

Red laughed.

"It's getting kinda boring up here," said Red. "Want to go back down to the base?"

"Sure," said Blue.

Red and Blue trekked back to the base of the mountain, and took the shuttle back to Hano Grand Resort. They had lunch at the Blue Goshawk, gobbling up some delicious Portuguese cuisine. Afterwards, Red and Blue went back to their bedroom. Red and Blue got undressed and lay down on their beds.

"My feet hurt so much," said Red.

"All that walking and climbing tires you out," said Blue, "and the girls noticing your hot pants."

Red giggled and then groaned.

"Ugh..." said Red. "I'm not climbing any mountains for a while. Luckily we can rest here until dinnertime."

"Sure," said Blue.

Red and Blue decided to relax in bed to drown out their pain.


	14. Fish Tales

**CHAPTER 14: FISH TALES**

Red had told Blue that he was dying to go to Brooklet Hill, so Blue decided eto take him there the next day. First, they took a visit to Paniola Town.

"Wow!" said Red. "It's like an old Western town."

A middle-aged woman walked up to them.

"Welcome to Paniola Town, y'all," she said. "I'm Thelma. I'll be your guide to the town." She spoke in a thick Southern accent.

Red and Blue followed Thelma around the town.

"This here's the Pokemon center, that there's the saloon, and that there's the ranch."

"What's that?" asked Red, pointing to a building.

"That's the gift shop," said Thelma. "There y'all can buy yourself a spittoon."

"A what?" asked Blue.

"A spittoon is something you spit chewed-up tobacco into," said Red. "It was a popular tradition in the Old West. They had spittoons everywhere in the Old West - at saloons, pubs, stores, banks, and even brothels."

"Is there a brothel around here?" asked Blue.

"Blue!" said Red.

"It's right there," said Thelma, pointing to a shady-looking building.

Blue got excited.

"Can we go, Red?" asked Blue. "We can meet real women of the town."

"NO!" yelled Red. "You horny bastard..."

"It ain't a brothel anymore," said Thelma. "They done cracked down on it and turned it into a blacksmith shop." Blue groaned. "You kids plan on stayin'?"

"Not for long," said Red. "We're going to Brooklet Hill. But first we're going to get something to eat."

Red and Blue decided to have brunch at the saloon, where they were served piping hot food charred by a Magmar. Red and Blue enjoyed the food, though Blue almost burned his tongue. Afterwards, the two of them bought cowboy hats at the gift shop. Red's was pink and blue's was baby blue.

After lunch, Red and Blue decided to go to Brooklet Hill.

"Let's go swimming," said Blue.

Red and Blue took off their shirts and pants, revealing their swimsuits. They decided to go swimming in the brooklets of Brooklet Hill. Red and Blue were rolling in the mud, getting themselves both wet and covered in mud.

When they got ashore, Blue looked at the sign.

"Watch out for Wishiwashi," he read.

"They're pretty dangerous," said a voice.

Red and Blue turned around. They saw a boy, aged about eleven, looking at them. He had honey blond hair and was clad in a blue speedo.

"Hi," said the boy. "I'm Sun. My dad is taking me and my older brother fishing. I'd advise staying away from. Wishiwashi live in there."

"But they're only this big," said Red.

"Yeah," said Sun, "but they call for their friends and turn into a giant, angry fish. I'm not a Trainer, so I'd keep my distance."

"Both of us are strong Trainers," said Blue.

"We can handle it," said Red.

"I'm sure you can," said Sun, "but just be careful."

Red and Blue left Sun and ventured deeper and deeper into Brooklet Hill. They soon crossed an area between two totem poles, where they saw a deep pool near the ocean. They saw a pair of ripped-up swim trunks.

"Looks like it's remains from its last victim," said Red.

When Red and Blue went swimming in the pool, they heard a roar.

"What's that?" asked Blue.

The roar grew louder.

"It's...it's..." said Red.

"WISHIWASHI!" yelled Red and Blue.

A huge School Form Wishiwashi appeared. It looked very angry at Red and Blue for disturbing its private pool. Red and Blue got out of the water and ran from the wild Wishiwashi, but it was too late. The Wishiwashi was getting closer and closer, and then it gobbled them up.

Sun was

"Dad!" he said. "Those two guys I just saw are in trouble!"

"I'm on it!" said Sun's father.

Sun's father sent out a Vikavolt, and used it to battle the Wishiwashi. Red and Blue cowered as they were inside the Wishiwashi's mouth, but luckily for them, the Vikavolt was able to defeat the Wishiwashi. Wishiwashi spit out Red and Blue, and then dissolved into a bunch of regular Wishiwashi, which all fled.

Sun walked up to Red and Blue.

"Are you two okay?" asked Sun.

"Yeah," said Blue.

"My dad's got some towels so you two can wash off the slime," said Sun.

"Thanks," said Red. He and Blue dried themselves off.

"Wishiwashi are pretty scary," said Sun. 'They're also fiercely territorial. Why don't you stay a while with us?"

"No thanks," said Red. "We're going back to the hotel."

"Okay," said Sun. "Suit yourself."

Red and Blue took leave of Sun and went to get their clothes. They got dressed, and then Red sent out Charizard. Red and Blue rode Charizard back to the hotel, where the two of them took showers. Afterwards, they decided to rest.

"That was scary," said Red.

"I know," said Blue. He then had a diabolical idea. "Let's go to Lush Jungle tomorrow!"

Red groaned.

"Don't worry," said Blue. "We're only going in a little bit. And there's nothing there that's big enough to eat us."

Red pondered for a moment.

"Okay," said Red. "But I'm staying away from the water."


	15. The Mysterious Pokemon

_**A/N:** Sorry for the delay. I had Christmas to take care of._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 15: THE MYSTERIOUS POKEMON**

That night, Red and Blue were doing crossword puzzles.

"Hmm..." said Blue. "It's an eight-letter word down and it starts with E. It's a country in the horn of Africa."

Red tapped his pen against the desk. "It's Ethiopia," said Red, writing down Ethiopia.

"That's where the jungles are," said Blue, "like Lush Jungle."

"Blue," said Red, "there are no jungles in Ethiopia."

"Are too!" said Blue. "It's in Africa."

Red facepalmed.

"I think geography lessons can wait, though," said Red.

"Well," said Blue, "like it or not, we're going to Lush Jungle tomorrow morning!"

Red sighed.

"Okay," he said.

The next morning, Red and Blue got up before dawn and got dressed, putting on the clothes they wore at Wela Volcano Park, and grabbing some adventure supplies. Then they rode off to Lush Jungle. Red and Blue stood.

"It'll be just like Tomb Raider," said Blue. "We'll be able to swing across vines and explore the lost ruins deep inside - and watch out for quicksand!"

"Quicksand?" said Red.

"Yep," said Blue. "Lush Jungle is known for its quicksand traps."

"Gulp," said Red.

Red and Blue entered the jungle. They trekked the extensive wooded area. Bounsweet and Steenee were walking around, while Morelull and Shiinotic were sleeping. Red and Blue veered off the main trail and started to go deeper in the jungle. Eventually they came across the ruins of a temple.

"Look!" said Blue. "There's the lost temple of One-nui!"

When Red and Blue approached the temple, a Tsareena appeared. She jumped forward and made threatening gestures at Red and Blue.

"Looks like we're in trouble," said Blue.

"I'll handle this, Blue," said Red. Red sent out Lapras.

Tsareena attacked with High Jump Kick, injuring Lapras.

"Lapras, use Body Slam!" said Red. Lapras slammed into Tsareena, paralyzing her.

Since Tsareena was paralyzed, she couldn't move.

Red then threw an Ultra Ball at Tsareena, but Tsareena managed to escape. Tsareena tried attacking, but to no avail. It took Red three more Ultra Balls until he could finally capture Tsareena.

"Pretty pathetic for a temple guardian, if you ask me," said Blue.

Red and Blue went inside the temple and looked around. The dilapidated temple looked really creepy, with overgrown leaves hanging all around. Statues depicting strange-looking extinct bird Pokemon decorated the room.

"This place gives me the creeps," said Red, "but as Trainers, we must press onward."

Red and Blue went down a long hallway and entered a large room. As Red and Blue walked down, they saw a terrifying statue at the other end, depicting a huge Pokemon. The Pokemon looked like a tree, with arms and legs that resembled electrical cords. Its tail resembled a plug. Its head was a crystalline star.

"What is that thing?" said Blue.

"I don't know," said Red. "It looks like some kind of Pokemon."

"I don't think I'd want to run into that "

Red and Blue went further and further into the temple, eventually coming to a room full of sand. Red and Blue walked across it and noticed something.

"We're sinking," said Red.

"Oh no!" said Blue. "Quicksand!"

"We better get back to shore," said Red.

Red and Blue trudged back to the edge of the room and climbed out. They then noticed a dark tunnel. They went through the tunnel, which bypassed the quicksand and led to another room. Red and Blue saw a boulder heading straight towards them!

"Run!" said Red.

Red and Blue ducked into a corner to dodge the boulder. When the boulder stopped, the two crawled through and reached another room. This room had a strange electrical light.

"What is this place?" said Red.

"I don't know," said Blue.

The two of them heard the sound of loud static.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

"It doesn't appear to be safe," said Red.

Red and Blue walked across the room, which had no light save for the strange electrical light. Somehow, the room was overgrown with the remains of trees. Red then stepped onto a tile, and noticed that it moved, making him fall right in. Blue went after him. Now Red and Blue were in a dark, subterranean cavern. There was no turning back, so Red and Blue walked through the extensive, ruinous tunnels, which were lined with skeletons of victims, both people and Pokemon. At the end of the tunnel was a big black room that looked like some kind of sanctuary.

"Wow..." said Red. "This place is amazing."

The loud static noises grew louder.

"We better not stay too long," said Blue.

Red and Blue looked at another one of the tunnels. The loud static was now even louder.

"What do we do?" asked Red.

"I don't know," said Blue.

The loud static grew so loud, and it was coming close. Red and Blue saw a huge Pokemon come around the tunnel. It looked exactly like the statue, only this one was alive. It was nearly 13 feet tall, and it had arms and legs like wires. It illuminated the area around it. It walked slowly towards Red and Blue, but started to go faster once it neared Red and Blue. This was Xurkitree, a mysterious Pokemon.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

Red and Blue screamed in horror.

The two of them started to run from the Pokemon, but Xurkitree chased after them. It did not run - it walked briskly. Red and Blue ran through the hallways, trying to get out, but they could not find a way out. Xurkitree pursued the two.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

Red and Blue eventually came to a gap that was located at the end of the tunnel. They used a rope to swing across and escape, but Xurkitree was savvy enough to jump over the gap.

"Doesn't that thing have an off button?" said Blue.

Red and Blue made it to a room with a short opening - Xurkitree was too tall to fit through the gap. Red and Blue quickly went in. Xurkitree tried to duck in, but its height prevented it from crouching. It decided to walk away.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

As soon as Xurkitree was gone, Red and Blue crawled through the tunnel.

"I don't see it anymore," said Red. "Let's get out of here."

It took many tunnels for Red and Blue to make it out, but they eventually did. They were back in Lush Jungle, where they got as far away from the temple as possible.

"That was close!" said Red. He looked around. "Wow...it's so beautiful. So many flowers..."

"This place is known for having many delicious ingredients," said Blue.

Red and Blue saw a green-haired girl gathering herbs. They walked up to her. This was Mallow, one of the Trial Captains.

"Hello," said Mallow. "Did you see the temple?"

"Yes," said Red.

"I'm busy gathering ingredients to make a delicious stew," said Mallow. She looked at Red and Blue. "You look exhausted."

"No duh!" said Blue.

"We were chased by a 13-foot-tall Pokemon!" said Red.

Mallow looked around.

"Well," she said, "I'm glad you made it out in one piece." She looked in the direction of the temple. "So the legend must be true..."

"What legend?" asked Red.

"There's an old legend on Akala Island that a huge Electric Pokemon dwells deep in the temple," she said. "Nobody knows what it is, or where it comes from. Sightings of it have persisted for centuries, and many encounters with it have been fatal. Now, of course, many people don't even think it really exists. Unfortunately, that's all I know about it."

"I'll keep that info in mind," said Blue.

"Is there someone we can turn to?" said Red.

"I'm not sure," said Mallow, "but I do know people who might know more."

"Okay," said Red.

Red and Blue later left the jungle. The encounter with Xurkitree remained on their minds. Red and Blue tried to purge it from their minds, but to no avail. But for now, they figured they'd enjoy their vacation and ask questions when the time came.


	16. Ryuki

**CHAPTER 16: RYUKI**

During the afternoon, Red and Blue went downstairs to look around the hotel. Blue was looking at the brochure.

"Hey, Red," said Blue. "Ryuki's giving a concert in Hano Town Square tonight at 8 PM! And the good news is...we don't even have to get tickets! It's a walk-in concert,"

"Ryuki?" said Red. "Isn't that the guy with the big red ponytail?" Blue nodded his head. "I've heard of him. He's wild. He calls everyone 'man' or 'dude', even if they're not men. He talks in a _really_ stereotypical surfer accent."

"Yep," said Blue, "that's the one. And yes, he's good at surfing as well as rock music."

"I'm not really keen on his music," said Red. "He's kinda...lame."

Red and Blue decided to go to dinner a bit early. They went to the buffet to grab some chow. While Red was helping himself to a mountain of lo mein, he noticed a guy serving himself some sesame chicken. The guy had red and white hair in a crazy style and wore a very unsettling draconic outfit with spikes. The guy's plate had an awful clash of food - it had macaroni and cheese, chow mein, green Jello, sugar cookies, pineapples, fried chicken, and sushi.

 _Could that be..._ thought Red. _No, it can't be. He's supposed to be preparing for a concert!_

Red turned around.

"Are you Ryuki?" Red asked the guy next to him.

"Ryuki..." said the guy. "Who is this 'Ryuki' you, like, ask of?" He turned around. "What up, dude? Yeah, Ryuki's here, man."

"Wow..." said Red. "I'm meeting so many celebrities. I'm like a celebrity magnet." Red looked at Ryuki's plate. "Damn, those foods don't go together."

"Yeah, dude," said Ryuki, "my taste in food is, like, unusual."

"To say the least," said Red.

When Red was finished filling his plate, he and Blue (who had filled his plate too) went to their table. Ryuki sat at the table next to them.

"We have a guest," said Red.

Blue turned around.

"Ryuki!" said Blue. "What brings you here?"

"I'm, like, having dinner, man," said Ryuki.

"I know," said Blue. "But I thought you were going to be performing tonight. Why are you here?"

"Man, oh man," sighed Ryuki. "My concert got canceled due to budget constraints. They replaced me with, like, the worst band in the world, dudes."

"Who?" asked Red. "Was it Nickelback?"

"Was it The Chainsmokers?" asked Blue.

"Worse," said Ryuki, "it was The Ghostbusters."

Red and Blue gasped.

"The Ghostbusters?" said Red. "But they're terrible! They can't even sing. They lip-sync all their crappy songs."

"Not to mention they're rabid SJWs," said Blue. "Just look at their Twitter accounts."

"That's right, man," said Ryuki. "I'm like, really annoyed about it. What do they have that I don't?"

"Well..." said Red, "they've got Tumblr accounts..."

"A huge horde of hipster fans..." said Blue.

"And one of them has half her head shaved and the other half dyed neon pink," said Red.

"Dammit!" said Ryuki. "I've been in the dumps. No one's been buying my albums. I guess I'll soon have to, like, call a hiatus. And I'm only 25."

"Don't say that," said Red.

"You're right, dude," said Ryuki. "I'll try to think positive. At least I can have a big dinner since I don't have to put on my makeup." Red noticed that Ryuki was wearing red eyeliner. "If I had to go on stage, I'd wear much more than this! Do you like it? I think it brings out the color of my eyes."

Red and Blue blushed.

A blue-haired woman came over and handed a bowl of French fries with vanilla and strawberry ice cream.

"Here's your French fries and ice cream, Ryuki," she said.

"Thanks, Carrie," said Ryuki. "She's one of my assistants."

Blue looked at the plate.

"And I thought Pua's Pizza Palace was weird," he said.

Red and Blue watched Ryuki guzzle down tons of food.

"Wow," said Red, "you sure eat a lot. I'm surprised you're so skinny."

"I have to exercise a lot, man," said Ryuki, "so I keep my weight in check. Otherwise I'd, like, be fat."

"Exercise is always important," said Red.

Blue thought of something diabolical.

"Hey I know!" he said. "After we're done eating, let's go to the town square to see The Ghostbusters concert."

"What the hell?" asked Red, who was shocked to hear Blue say such a thing.

"We're not going as fans, you dork," said Blue. "We're going just so we can laugh at their music."

"What if they tell us to check our privilege?" asked Red.

"Don't worry," said Blue. "I know a lot of good wisecracks. I just want to see their reactions. I ain't afraid of no Ghostbusters."

Ryuki thought about it.

"Sure thing, man!" he said. "It'll be totally wicked!"

"Well it looks like it's settled," said Blue. "After dinner, we're gonna rock this party!"


	17. Who You Gonna Call?

**A/N: This chapter makes fun of social justice warriors (as well as the Ghostbusters remake that everyone kept complaining about last year). If you are easily offended, don't read it.**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 17: WHO YOU GONNA CALL?**

That night, Red, Blue, and Ryuki walked over to the town square, where there was a crowd waiting to see The Ghostbusters. The three of them encountered Kahili, who appeared to be visiting the concert.

"Oh, no!" said Red. "You like the Ghostbusters too, Kahili?"

"No," said Kahili. "I just wanted to see how bad they are."

"What about Morty?" asked Red.

"He's going back to Johto tomorrow," said Kahili. "But why would he go? Morty doesn't like The Ghostbusters. He says they're mean to Ghost Pokemon."

"It's going to be sick!" said Ryuki.

"Ryuki..." said Blue.

Red, Blue, and Ryuki made their way to the front, where they gazed up at the stage. The stage background had a Ghostbusters logo. Four women walked up to the stage. The first one, Jaime, was a pale blonde with hipster glasses. The second one, Sheena, was a brunette who looked bored. The third one, Cantrell, was a heavy-set black woman with big globe earrings. The fourth one, Marnie, had ghostly pale skin, big hipster glasses, half her head shaved and the other half dyed pink, black lipstick, and two moles on the left side of her face. The four of them wore skin-tight Ghostbusters uniforms.

"Welcome, everyone!" said Jaime. "Are you ready to rock!"

Most of the crowd cheered. (The crowd mainly consisted of people who looked like hipsters.)

"We've got a great show for you," said Marnie. "Did you remember to check your privilege at the door?"

The crowd cheered again.

"BOO!" yelled Blue.

"You better watch your microaggressions, bro!" said Cantrell. "Anyway...we're going to be giving you a great show, so put your hands together for our first song! It's a bit of an oldie, but I'm sure you'll like it."

The Ghostbusters took their positions.

"One, two, three, GO!"

The song 'Ghostbusters' by Ray Parker Jr. started playing, while Jaime, Sheena, Cantrell, and Marnie started dancing in place. They didn't actually sing, but they very obviously lip synced.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" said Red.

"They're not even, like, singing!" said Ryuki.

"I know," said Kahili. "Someone pass me a pistol to put in my mouth so I can blow my brains out."

Marnie heard their comments, so she stopped to give them the finger with both hands.

"I'm surprised people even buy these people's albums," said Blue.

A group of hipsters walked up to them.

"So," said one hipster with a long beard, "you don't like their music? Sexist pigs."

"How is not liking a crappy musical group sexist?" ask Red. "We didn't even bring up their gender."

"It doesn't matter if the singer is male or female," said Kahili, "What matters is the quality of their-"

"Excuse me?" said a female hipster who looked like Lena Dunham with purple hair. "Male or female? How dare you pretend that other genders don't exist!"

"Okay..." said Ryuki, "this is getting weird."

The long-bearded hipster looked at Red's shirt.

"A Hawaiian shirt?" he said. "CULTURAL APPROPRIATION ALERT! Someone ought to slap you!"

"Oh, come on!" said Red.

Red and Blue walked away from the hipsters. After the first song was over, The Ghostbusters sang several more songs, all with SJW themes. One of them was called "Die Cis Scum" and it was sung to the tune of "Let It Go" from Frozen.

Once it was intermission time, Red, Blue, Ryuki, and Kahili decided to have a word with the Ghostbusters.

Marnie was smelling the surroundings for some odd reason.

"Ze zi zo zum...I smell the blood of cis scum!" said Marnie.

Red, Blue, Ryuki, and Kahili approached the Ghostbusters.

"Oh look," said Sheena, "there are some fans!"

"Fans?" said Blue. "Like hell!"

"We don't like your music," said Red.

"Hmph," said Cantrell, "sexist pigs."

"How is not liking you sexist?" asked Kahili.

"We would have rather had Ryuki here play," said Red.

"You want a MAN to play instead of us?" gasped Sheena. "You better check your privilege, cis scum!"

"These assholes are being so problematic," said Jaime. "We don't have time for your mansplaining."

"Well," said Marnie, "if you don't like us, why don't you go listen to your white people shit?"

"That doesn't, like, make any sense, dudes," said Ryuki.

The Ghostbusters froze for a whole minute, with shocked expressions.

"Dudes?" snapped Marnie. "DUDES? YOU MISOGYNISTIC MENINIST! HOW DARE YOU ACT LIKE A BUNCH OF TRANSPHOBIC SCUM!"

"What's your problem?" said Ryuki coolly.

"But...but..." said Red.

"Aw, boo hoo, cis tears!" said Cantrell.

"You jerks need to watch your microaggressions!" said Jaime.

"Listen..." said Blue. "Why don't we try to settle this peacefully, ladies."

"Did he just call us ladies?" Cantrell asked Sheena.

"He did," said Sheena.

Marnie started to fume, and her face turned red with fury.

"THAT'S IT, CIS SCUM!" she yelled. " _ **SECURITY!**_ "

Four big security guards, all hipsters with long beards, grabbed Red, Blue, Ryuki, and Kahili, and dragged them out of the concert.

"That's better," said Jaime.

"Intermission's almost over," said Cantrell. "We need to get back to the stage!"

Red, Blue, Ryuki, and Kahili stood outside the town square, looking glumly at the concert.

"That was dumb," said Red. "Now they're officially my most hated band."

"It's no big deal," said Kahili. "Those weirdos were asking for it. I didn't mind getting a little adventurous tonight."

"I did," said Red.

"It's getting late," said Kahili. "Marcella wants me back at the hotel so we can watch the rugby playoffs. See you later!"

Kahili made her way back to the hotel.

"Bye, Kahili!" said Red.

"Smell you later!" said Blue.

Red and Blue turned to Ryuki.

"Hey, man," said Ryuki. "I'm not ready to call it a night yet. How about we get some malasadas? My treat!"

"Awesome!" said Red and Blue.

Red, Blue, and Ryuki went to get some malasadas. Then Red and Blue said goodbye to Ryuki went back to the hotel.


	18. Bling Bling

**CHAPTER 18: BLING BLING**

The next day, Red and Blue decided to check out the south side of Akala Island, and what better way there was to do it than going to Konikoni City?

"So I've got the game plan," said Red. "First, we visit Konikoni City. Then we go back to the hotel to put away everything we bought, and then we go to the Ruins of Life."

"And let us not forget to go to Olivia's jewelry shop," said Blue, "where we can get some bling bling for ourselves!"

Red and Blue took the tour bus to Konikoni City, bypassing Diglett's Tunnel, The two of them were struck by Konikoni's beauty. It was definitely as nice as Heahea (which they had seen days ago), if not nicer.

"It looks like an old, picturesque Chinese town," said Red.

"Where do you want to go first?" Blue asked Red.

"Let's go to the farmer's market," said Red.

Red and Blue went to the farmer's market located in the east of the town. The two of them saw a young man with long brown hair watering some flowers.

"Hi!" he said. "Welcome to the farmers' market. I'm Earl Almeida. I help my parents with the flowers." Earl spoke in a soft, somewhat simpleton-ish voice.

"Hello," said Red.

"Hello," said Earl. "Would you like to buy some beautiful flowers?"

"No thanks," said Red. "We're on vacation, so flowers probably wouldn't be a good idea."

Earl frowned.

"That's okay," he said. "Perhaps you'll find something else."

Blue stood close to Red.

"That guy's voice is creepy," he whispered to Red. "He sounds like a robot."

"He's just shy," said Red. Red looked at a table. "Hey look! Jam!" The table was full of jam. An old lady in a blue muumuu stood behind it.

"Have some delicious jam!" she sad. "I made each jar myself."

Red saw a table that had multiple jars of jam, made from all different fruits. Red decided to order apricot jam, pineapple jam, and of course, raspberry jam.

Blue then walked over to a table, where an Ace Trainer was selling baked desserts. He appeared to be sleepy.

"Delicious desserts!" he said. "I was up late last night making these!" He yawned.

"I can tell," said Blue.

"Bryce loves making desserts into the wee hours of the night," Earl told Blue.

"I'm not surprised," said Blue. He turned to Bryce. "I'll take two pineapple danishes."

"Very well then," said Bryce, yawning.

Blue bought the pineapple danishes.

"Now go get some sleep!" said Blue.

"Sleep?" said Bryce. "I don't need...sleep...zzz..." Bryce plopped himself into a chair and started sleeping.

"I got us some dessert," said Blue. "Now let's go get some bling."

"Okay," said Red.

Red and Blue left the farmer's market. Earl waved bye to them, while Red waved bye back. The two of them then went to Olivia's jewelry store. The two of them went inside, and were bedazzled by all the precious gemstones.

"Let's see what's here," said Red.

Red and Blue looked around the jewelry store, but were shocked at how expensive everything was.

"Dammit!" said Blue. "All this jewelry costs a fortune!"

"I'm sure there's cheaper jewelry here," said Red. He looked at what Blue was looking at. "I hate to break it to you, Blue, but platinum is very expensive. So are rubies and sapphires."

"Oh," said Blue. "I thought those were colored diamonds."

"I highly doubt we'll find any colored diamonds here," said Red. "We'd have to be filthy rich if we wanted one of those." He looked at some earrings shaped like green Lunatone. "These earrings would look beautiful on Leaf! Not to mention they're made of uvarovite, her favorite gemstone." He looked at the price. "Oh, man! They're too expensive."

A black woman wearing a pink outfit and lots of jewelry walked over to them.

"Looking for something?" she asked.

"Olivia!" said Red.

"Hey, Olivia," said Blue. "We're looking for jewelry."

"Unfortunately," said Red, "everything seems to be out of our price range."

"Don't worry about a thing," said Olivia. "We have cheaper jewelry here too." Olivia showed Red and Blue to a cabinet that had cheap jewelry.

"Wow!" said Red.

"Wow indeed," said Olivia. "We've got a nice selection of gems. There's amethyst, rose quartz, heliotrope, amazonite, azurite, malachite, cubic zirconia, sphalerite, and many, many more!"

"Ooh!" said Red.

Red and Blue picked out some jewelry. Red picked out an amethyst ring for himself, amazonite earrings for Leaf, and a heliotrope ring for his mother, while Blue picked rose quartz earrings for his sister Daisy. The two of them paid for their jewelry.

"Thanks for shopping!" said Olivia. "By the way, I am the kahuna of Akala Island."

"Cool!" said Blue.

"Are you going to the Ruins of Life?" Olivia asked Red and Blue.

"Yes," said Red. "We're going there this evening."

"I'll be glad to guide you there," said Olivia. "It's past Memorial Hill."

"We'd love to see the ruins," said Red. "We have to go now. We're going to be having lunch!"

"Okay," said Olivia. "See you later!"

Red and Blue went to the nearby restaurant for lunch - the same one that Mallow worked at. Mallow wasn't there at the moment, so they didn't get to see her. Afterwards, Red and Blue went back to the hotel.


	19. Ruins of Life

_**A/N:** Sorry I didn't update sooner! I was really busy last week._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 19: RUINS OF LIFE**

That evening, Red and Blue took the bus to Lele Town, a small coastal town that was built not too far from the Ruins of Life.

Olivia met Red and Blue at the bus terminal.

"Hello, guys," she said. "I'm glad you could make it. I'll be able to show you the Ruins of Life, dedicated to Tapu Lele."

"I'm so excited!" said Blue. "I'm getting goosebumps about it!"

"Well, come on!" said Olivia. "The ruins are this way."

Red and Blue followed Olivia up the path that led to the Ruins of Life. Red and Blue noticed that the Ruins of Life looked almost exactly like the Ruins of Conflict. But unlike the Ruins of Conflict, which had been decorated with yellow paint, the Ruins of Life were decorated with pink paint.

"Do you need any guidance?" Olivia asked Red and Blue.

"No thanks," said Red.

"We're men," said Blue. "We can handle ourselves."

"Okay," said Olivia. "I'll be waiting outside if you need anything. If you're ever in any danger, just ring the bells inside."

"Bell?" asked Red.

"Each shrine has a number of bells located inside," said Olivia. "The bells are used to silence any restless spirits that might. It is said that even the tapus don't like the sound of the bells."

"Hey..." said Blue, "there were no bells at the other shrine!"

"There are too," said Olivia. "You probably didn't notice them."

"Right..." said Red. "We must have not taken the time to seek them."

"Come on, Red," said Blue. "Let's go take a look inside."

"I'll be waiting outside," said Olivia.

Red and Blue went inside the ruins. They looked around. It was a little brighter than the Ruins of Conflict, and there were flowers planted everywhere, for Tapu Lele was said to like bright colors.

Red and Blue came to a room full of toys, some of them old and dusty.

"What's the purpose of this room?" asked Blue.

"I think it's supposed to be an offering room," said Red. "According to local beliefs, sacrificing old toys that are no longer played with to Tapu Lele is said to bring good luck."

"I don't have any old toys," said Blue.

"I'm not giving up that Cutiefly plush I won at Pua's Pizza Palace," said Red. "It's too cute to be an offering."

Red and Blue left the toy room and went towards the other side of the ruins. They soon found themselves in a dark room.

"Huh?" said Red and Blue.

"There's no light in here," said Red. "This is creepy."

Suddenly, a pink crystal lit up.

"Let's touch it!" said Blue.

"Let's not," said Red.

Blue reached out to the crystal and grabbed it.

"Ha ha ha!" he said. "It's MINE! ALL MINE! All mine and not yours, Red!"

Suddenly, a young woman appeared behind Red and Blue. She had tan skin, long pink hair that curled at the ages, and turquoise eyes. She wore a pink dress and a pink conical hat. She looked like an Alolan chief from long ago. She was carrying a staff.

"That's not a good idea," she said. "Tapu Lele is the holder of that crystal. It is not for you."

"I'm taking it for myself," said Blue. "The crystal speaks to me. The lust of its power...it's _delicious_!" The pink crystal was controlling Blue's mind.

"That crystal is sacred to Tapu Lele," said the young woman. "Misuse of the crystal can be dangerous."

"SILENCE!" Blue yelled at the young woman.

"Maybe I should take it..." said Red, grabbing the crystal. He tried to toss it aside, but then the crystal took control of his mind too. "I'm not letting go of it now! And why should you take it, you good-for-nothing buffoon? Hand over the crystal, beast!"

"Right...in your next life!" said Blue.

As Red and Blue fought over the crystal, the young woman struck the ground with her staff.

"ENOUGH!" she said. "You insolent fools dare to disrespect the ruins of Tapu Lele! Now the wrath of the goddess shall be upon you!"

The young woman transformed, revealing herself to be Tapu Lele.

"Tapu Lele!" yelled Red and Blue.

"Now boys," she said, "hand over the crystal."

"Never!" yelled Red and Blue.

"All right..." said Tapu Lele. "Now your minds shall be erased!"

Tapu Lele used her telekinetic powers to grab the crystal. She lifted the crystal with her mind and shattered it into dust, which rained down on Red and Blue, knocking them unconscious. This dust would make them forget everything that happened after they entered the Ruins of Life.

"I am such a genius, tee-hee!" said Tapu Lele. "Now those two have paid the price."

Tapu Lele disappeared. The room lit up, and after half an hour, Red and Blue awoke.

"Huh...where am I?" said Red.

"I don't know," said Blue. "How did we end up here?"

"One minute we were outside with Olivia," said Red, "and the next thing we know, we're lying here in the ruins."

"Let's get up and find a way out," said Blue. He got up, and then he helped Red up.

Red and Blue tried to find a way out of the ruins, but they were lost after going in so deep. They eventually came to the toy room. In desperation, Red rang the bell that was inside the room.

Outside the ruins, it had gotten dark. Olivia was outside, starting to fall asleep. The sound of the bell woke her. She turned on her flashlight and went inside the ruins. Soon enough, she came across Red and Blue. The two of them were cowering in a corner.

"Red! Blue!" said Olivia. "It's me!"

Red and Blue stood up.

"Olivia!" said Red.

"I got tired waiting," said Olivia, "but then I remembered that you were in trouble."

"I don't remember going in the ruins," said Blue.

"What?" said Olivia. "You don't remember?"

"No..." said Red. "Can you take us to the hotel?"

"Sure," said Olivia. "Hop in my car."

Red and Blue followed Olivia to her car, a green Camaro (which had the top part off as it was a convertible), and went inside. Red and Blue sat quietly and tiredly as Olivia drove them back.

"I think I know what happened," said Olivia. "You must have fallen for Tapu Lele's crystals."

"Crystals?" asked Red.

"Tapu Lele plants crystals in her shrine to ward off people," said Olivia. "She doesn't like it when people steal offerings. It's not at all surprising, what with people like Team Skull harassing ruin-goers from time to time."

"Team Skull?" said Red. "I've heard of them. They're troublemakers."

"When Tapu Lele catches suspected thieves, she uses her crystals," said Olivia. "She will break the crystal and use it to erase people's memories. Then she leaves them alone, lost in the ruins. It's actually a common problem here. Luckily, me and the local police are here to fetch people out. If the person is a thief, their hands will be painted pink. If not, their hands will be clean."

Red and Blue showed their hands to Olivia.

"Your hands are clean," said Olivia. "You two are innocent."

"Thank God!" said Red. "Last thing I want to be is arrested on vacation."

Red, Blue, and Olivia laughed.

Eventually, Olivia reached the hotel.

"Here you guys are," said Olivia.

Red and Blue got out of Olivia's car.

"Bye, Olivia!" said Red and Blue.

"Bye, Red! Bye, Blue!" said Olivia.

Olivia drove away.

"I'm sooo tired," said Blue.

"Let's call it a night," said Red.

Red and Blue went inside the hotel, up to their rooms, where they went to bed.


	20. Zeno

_**A/N:** Sorry about the delay! I had the flu last week, and that really threw me off from my writing schedule. I should really not try to make excuses, but oh well...I've got great plans for when we get to Ula'ula Island!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 20: ZENO**

The next day, Red and Blue woke up to yet another bright, sunny day. This day was no day to be messing around, for the next day after that Red and Blue were going to Ula'ula Island. Red had already booked a reservation at the Ula-manu Hotel on Loaloa Town, a beautiful seaside resort in western Ula'ula Island.

Red and Blue were giggling as they read the brochure for the Ula-manu Hotel.

"The hotel will give us access to Mount Hokulani," said Blue. "There's also a bus that will take us to Malie City."

"We also get access to Ula'ula Meadow," said Red. "Nanu lives at the police station to the north of the meadow."

"Nanu lives at a police station?" asked Blue.

"Yep," said Red. "His apartment is on the second floor of the police station. It gives a nice, scenic view of the meadow."

"It must be a little depressing," said Blue.

"Not for him," said Red. "The hotel guidebook says that Nanu doesn't mind his simple living arrangements."

"What are we going to do today?" asked Blue. "It's our last day on Akala Island."

"We're going to tour around a bit," said Red. "First, let's go take a look around Heahea City."

Red and Blue first went to Heahea City. While they were there, they fed the local Oricorio, ate some malasadas at a street vendor, and looked out at the Tide Song Hotel. After a while, the two of them were getting bored, so they decided to take a look at the woods to the north.

"Let's take a look around," said Red.

Red and Blue explored the woods, going on a path that led up to Brooklet Hill. It was the south side of the hilly area, so there was no worry about the giant Wishiwashi that they had seen days ago. Red and Blue decided to look at the stream that flowed into the ocean.

"Ah..." said Red. "This is relaxing."

"Indeed," said Blue.

"Still..." said Red. "I feel like we're being...watched."

"Watched?" asked Blue.

"Yeah," said Red. "It's quiet here. Too quiet for anything to be normal."

Suddenly, Red and Blue heard a noise.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

"Oh no!" said Red. "It's that Pokemon we saw the other day."

"I'm not gonna let that bother me," said Blue. "We're not going to run away from it anymore. Time to face it like men!"

"I don't know..." said Red.

"Be a man, Red," said Blue.

Red sighed.

"Let's go," said Red.

Red and Blue explored the woods in the hopes of finding Xurkitree, the Pokemon they had seen the other day. Red and Blue decided to go deeper and deeper into the woods, looking for Xurkitree. All they could hear from it was its cry.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

Xurkitree's cry grew louder and louder. After a while, Red and Blue encountered a glowing light.

"What could that be?" asked Blue.

"That Pokemon," said Red.

Red and Blue approached a clearing in the woods. They encountered Xurkitree, who was standing tall and proud, with its long arms stretched out. Xurkitree then looked at Red and Blue, who were nervous at the sight of the 13-foot-tall tree Pokemon.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!" it said, making a threatening gesture.

"Don't worry," said Blue. "We come in peace."

"Peace," said Red, making peace signs with his fingers.

Xurkitree looked at Red and Blue, puzzled.

"We want to be your friends," said Blue.

"Friends," said Red.

Red held out a big yellowish mango. Xurkitree grabbed the mango and started to eat it up. Despite not appearing to have a mouth, Xurkitree managed to eat it.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!" it said excitedly.

"You seem like a nice Pokemon," said Red.

"Hold out your hand," said Blue. "Give one shock if you're a boy, two shocks if you're a girl."

Xurkitree held out its arm and shocked Blue once.

"Ow..." said Blue.

"Then I guess you're a boy," said Red.

"What are we going to call you?" asked Blue.

"How about Zoltan?" asked Red.

"Nah," said Blue. "He looks more like a Zeno."

Xurkitree (who will now be called Zeno) buzzed in delight.

"Too bad we can't take you with us," said Red.

"We didn't bring our Poke Balls," said Blue.

Red smiled.

"Don't worry," said Red. "We'll come back to see you someday."

"We'll always be friends," said Blue.

Zeno lit up in delight.

"So long!" said Red.

"Bye!" said Blue.

Red and Blue bid farewell to Zeno.

A few hours after Red and Blue left, mysterious people came up to Zeno and trapped him beneath the trees. They threw a Master Ball at him.

"You're coming with us, you vile creature!" said a voice.

Uh-oh...looks like trouble is afoot!


	21. Ula'ula Island

**CHAPTER 21: ULA'ULA ISLAND**

The next morning, Red and Blue checked out of the Hano Grand Resort and took the ferry to Ula'ula Island.

When Red and Blue made land on Loaloa Town, they looked around. It was beautiful - red flowers were growing everywhere.

"Ula'ula Island is the biggest island in Alola," said Red, reading the pamphlet. "It takes up half of Alola's territory. It doesn't have as many people as Melemele Island or Akala Iland, but it's still got more people than Poni Island."

"Poni Island's like the backwoods of Alola," said Blue. "Must be where all the Alolan rednecks live."

Red elbowed Blue.

"Blue!" said Red.

"Sorry," said Blue.

"Let's get to the hotel," said Red.

Red and Blue went to the Ula-manu Hotel, a large colorful resort whose preferred color was scarlet red. Red and Blue checked in and found a room overlooking looking the pool.

"That pool looks awesome!" said Blue. "It looks even better than the one at the last hotel. Boy do I miss that pool."

"We've been in that pool every other day," said Red. "This hotel's pool will be good too. They said the water's really warm. There's also a beach too."

Red sat down on the bed.

"We'll be staying here for seven nights," said Red. "Afterwards, we're going to go to another hotel in Bulu Town on the south side of the island. Loaloa Town is a lot quieter than Malie City."

"Will we be visiting Malie City?" asked Blue. "It's the closest place to Kanto."

"Yep," said Red. "Well, technically you're wrong since Ula'ula Island is the furthest island from Kanto, but metaphorically, you're right due to the amount of immigrants from Kanto. We'll also get to partake in delicious Japanese cuisine when we go there. There's Sushi High Roller, one of the finest Japanese restaurants of all. It's much more affordable than the one in Kalos."

"What do you want to do first?" asked Blue.

"Let's take a look around town," said Red, "and then let's hit the beach."

Red and Blue decided to explore the town. First, they decided to get lunch at Taco Bell. Red drank a lot of Manzanita Sol, an apple-flavored soda from Mexico. Red thought it would taste very good - and he was right.

"Gees," said Blue, "you drank so much Manzanita Sol, I swore the machine was going to run out of it."

"Sorry," said Red. "I've never had that drink before. I wanted to try it out."

"Don't forget to save your appetite," said Blue. "There's a number of street vendors I want to check out. I want to check out that German one by the beach. It sells authentic German pretzels. For dinner, we're going to the smorgasbord at the hotel."

"Sounds good to me," said Red.

After lunch, Red and Blue did more sightseeing. Red and Blue took a look at the beach on Route 16 and the path on Route 10. The two of them observed Mount Hokulani, the second-tallest mountain in the Alola Region.

"There's an observatory at the top," said Red. "Wanna visit it sometime?"

"Sure," said Blue.

Afterwards, Red and Blue went to the beach. They changed into their speedos and charged into the water, where they went swimming and gazed at Akala Island in the distance. They also looked at the beach. It was pretty crowded, although there was one guest that stood out.

An old man in an open black T-shirt and black and red board shorts was gazing out at the sea. He had a bored look on his face.

"Hey look!" said Blue. "Is that who I think it is?"

Blue ran up to the man.

"Who are you?" asked the man.

"Are you Nanu?" asked Blue.

"That's my name," said the man. "Don't wear it out."

Red approached Nanu.

"What brings you here?" asked Nanu.

"We're fans!" said Blue, looking all starry-eyed.

Red looked embarrassed at Blue's behavior.

"Sorry about that," said Red. "I'm Red, and this is Blue."

"I've heard of you two," said Nanu. He turned to Blue. "You're the annoying little shit who always tells people 'smell you later'." Nanu looked at Red. "Pleased to meet you, Red. You seem like a nice kid."

"I hope we're not disturbing you," said Red.

"No," said Nanu. "I've got to go. I'd rather be alone right now. Come see me sometime at the police station." Nanu started to walk away.

"Bye, Nanu!" said Red.

"Bye!" said Blue.

"So," said Red, "I knew he'd think you were annoying."

"Red!" said Blue.

"I don't think people like you that much," said Red. "They're always telling you how annoying they think you are."

"I always get that kind of reaction," said Blue.

"So..." said Red, "what _did_ happen to that Raticate of yours?"

"Stop it, Red!" said Blue.

"I'm just teasing, Blue," said Red. "Relax."

Blue sighed.

"Okay, Red," he said. "I know you're just kidding around. I shouldn't be getting salty about it. Come on, Red...let's have some fun!"

Blue took Red's baseball cap and shoved it into his face.

"That's it, Blue," laughed Red. "I'll get you for that!"

Red picked up his cap and rubbed it in Blue's face. The two of them had a lot of fun wrestling and playing with the cap. Both of them got really wet - and so did the cap.

After Red and Blue went back on land, they dried off. Red wrung his baseball cap to get the water out. He told Blue that he was going to dry it out so he could wear it the next day.

"I don't need to wear this tonight," said Red. "It's better to keep off your hat in the restaurant anyway." Red looked up at the sky and sighed. "Such a beautiful day."

Red and Blue then got dressed and went to the German vendor, where they got a couple of soft pretzels. They went to another vendor next to it that was selling fruit-flavored sodas. Red and Blue got themselves some delicious pineapple-flavored sodas. Then they went back to the hotel.


	22. Lake of the Sunne (or Moone)

_**A/N:** Today's my birthday! I'm officially 25 years old today. Glad to be doing a chapter on my birthday!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 22: LAKE OF THE SUNNE (OR MOONE)**

That night, Red and Blue were chilling out. Red was watching the weather forecast on TV.

"Looks like tomorrow's going to be very rainy out," said Red. "It rains a lot in the northwest of Ula'ula Island."

"Nanu doesn't mind the rain," said Blue.

"I know," said Red. "He doesn't mind anything, actually."

"He's such a lazy bum," said Blue. "We could have tea and crumpets and watch videos of Caitlyn Jenner."

"Nanu doesn't eat crumpets," said Red.

"Oh," said Blue. "Anyway, I'm looking forward to it."

The next day, Red and Blue left the hotel after breakfast and crossed Ula'ula Meadow. They admired the beautiful red flowers and gazed at the Ribombee and Oricorio that were flying above. Blue decided to explore the flowers, but he soon ran into an Ariados.

"Eek!" said Blue, hurrying away from the Ariados.

"Better not bother them," said Red.

Red and Blue looked across the meadow, where there was a huge ruinous complex.

"That is the Lake of the Sunne," said Red.

"Really?" said Blue. "I thought it was called the Lake of the Moone."

"Sunne, Moone, whatever," said Red. "It's really majestic. We should explore it."

Red and Blue went to explore the lake. The ruins were surprisingly large - and surprisingly empty. Red and Blue first entered the building, and then walked down a large hallway to the center of the lake, where there was a large, open alter.

"This place gives me the creeps," said Red. "I feel like we're not supposed to be here."

"I feel like we're being...watched..." said Blue.

"Let's get out of here," said Red.

Red and Blue decided to leave the lake and make it back to Ula'ula Meadow. By now, it was starting to rain. Red and Blue put on ponchos to keep themselves safe from the rain. Both of them went north to Route 17, where they stopped in front of the police station. On the side of the police station, there was a staircase leading to a door.

"That must be where Nanu lives," said Red.

Red and Blue walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Hello?" said Red.

Nanu walked over to the door and opened it.

"Oh," he said coolly, "it's you."

"Hi, Nanu!" said Red. "Can we come in?"

"Sure," said Nanu, looking bored as usual.

Nanu led Red and Blue into his apartment. The apartment was relatively plain and ornery. The main room was the living room, which had several couches, including a big one that converted to a bed - this was where Nanu slept every night. There was a TV near the bed. A kitchen was to the right, while a bathroom and closet were to the left (in the back of the place). There were several Alolan Meowth in various places.

"Oh..." said Blue. "You live alone?"

"I do," said Nanu. "Got a problem with that?"

"Nope," said Blue.

Red and Blue took off their ponchos. The two of them sat down at one of the couches - the one in front of the coffee table. Nanu went to make Red and Blue some iced tea.

"It's really dreary out," said Red.

"I don't mind a little rain," said Nanu. "Into every life, a little rain must fall. Or a lot, in the case of Route 17."

When the tea was Ready, Nanu brought it over to Red and Blue. Red and Blue took sips of tea.

"Good," said Blue.

"Delicious," said Red.

"Thanks," said Nanu, coming over and sitting down in a chair.

Red looked around.

"So, Nanu," said Red, "do you ever get lonely around here?"

"Lonely?" said Nanu. "Definitely not. Being alone means that I can concentrate on myself more, and do what I want. I've got plenty of family around Ula'ula - my mother, my siblings, nieces and nephews, as well as plenty of friends, including Trial Captain Acerola, who calls me her uncle. All of us are very close, so I have plenty of people to take care of my social life, and the Meowth to keep me company at home. So you see I'm not lonely without a girlfriend. I don't think about it at all."

"Whoa," said Blue.

"It's good to have a positive outlook on life," said Red.

"I've never been worried about starting a family," said Nanu. "You see, I don't like little kids. There are plenty of exceptions, but little kids kinda bother me. All that noise gives me headaches. I could never see myself having kids of my own. Now of course, I'm too old for kids. I don't want to be like those creepy old actors and singers who have kids in their old age."

"But isn't Acerola a kid?" asked Red.

"Like I said...there are exceptions," said Nanu. "Acerola is very mature for her age - and a skilled Pokemon Trainer. She's a Ghost-type Trainer. She looks to Morty and Shauntal for inspiration with Pokemon, but she always says there's no one better than uncle Nanu, even if I'm a Dark-type Trainer. The Dark type gets a lot of hate, and so do a lot of Dark-type specialists like myself. It's probably why many of us have more sarcastic, pragmatic personalities."

"I like that you have a lot of unconventional wisdom," said Blue. "I'm single too, so it would make me feel better about not having a girlfriend. Although people have been mistaking me and Red for a gay couple."

"Damn," said Nanu. "People get weirder and weirder. Assuming you're gay if you're close. Don't get me wrong, I'm very supportive of gay rights, but just because two guys are close, doesn't always mean they're gay."

"We weren't always this close," said Blue. "I used to be pretty mean to Red. But after Red had beaten me at the Pokemon League, I begun to realize the error of my ways and try to be a better person. After finding out through paternity tests that Red was my uncle might have been a little unsettling, but actually it helped make us closer, knowing that Red is now part of my family."

"Indeed," said Red. "Now that Oak, er, Dad has gotten married to Mom, we feel like all the loose ends have been tied. And a few years later, we got to see Daisy get married and become a mom. I love visiting my grandnephew. I'd love to buy him a gift while I'm here."

Blue took out his iPhone and showed Nanu a picture of Daisy's son Finn.

"That's me with my nephew," said Blue.

"I can see the resemblance," said Nanu coolly.

"I hope you don't find it weird that we're uncle and nephew," said Red, "despite the fact that we're the same age."

"It's not weird at all," said Nanu. "There's all kinds of families out there. Families don't have to be the typical mother-father-brother-sister kind of family. Families can be anything. TV loves non-traditional families. That's why all those shitty reality shows exist."

Red and Blue laughed.

"You're right, Nanu," said Red.

Red and Blue stayed with Nanu for a few more hours and then made their way back to the hotel.

"I love giving nuggets of wisdom to people," Nanu said to himself.


	23. Mount Hokulani

**CHAPTER 23: MOUNT HOKULANI**

When Red and Blue got back, they made plans for the next day.

"Let's go to Mount Hokulani tomorrow," said Red.

"I heard Mount Hokulani is so cool," said Blue. "There's also a nice village at the foot of the mountain called Hoku Town. Molayne, the guy who runs the Hokulani Observatory, runs it." Blue looked at Molayne's picture in the brochure. "He looks a little young to be running an observatory."

"Yeah," said Red, "but we were Champions while we were still kids. So it's not that weird..."

"Let's go early so we still have time to go to the pool," said Blue.

The next morning, Red and Blue got up early and took the bus to Hoku Town, which was located near the foot of the mountain. Red and Blue went to the end of Route 10 and took the shuttle bus up the mountain to the cliffs. While Red and Blue were talking, a little girl (who was sitting with her mother) was looking at them.

"Mommy," she said, "are those two guys lovers? They look so sweet!"

The mom looked shocked and embarrassed. So did Red and Blue.

"No sweetie, they're cousins!" said the mom.

The little girl looked shocked.

"What? Really?" she said. "Oh, so they're gay cousins!"

Several of the people on the bus laughed. Red and Blue looked very embarrassed.

"That mom must have been watching the Sailor Moon dub a little too much," Blue told Red.

Red and Blue went to the observatory, but when the got there, they saw that it was closed. Sophocles, one of the Trial Captains, was there.

"Sorry about that," said Sophocles. "Big Mo had to close the place because we needed to do renovations. We're getting a new telescope."

"Then why are you here, kid?" asked Blue.

"Big Mo...Molayne, my cousin...wanted me to help the workers," said Sophocles. "And please, don't call me kid. I may be short and fat, but I'm older than I look. People still call Molayne kid when he's in his twenties."

"Sorry," said Blue.

"That's okay," said Sophocles. "You should see my friend Hapu, who lives on Poni Island. People still call her 'little girl' and she's almost sixteen. It's because she's a midget, or to use a politically correct term, little person."

Blue laughed.

"Blue's a bit weird," said Red.

"I've noticed," said Sophocles. "But that's okay. People think me and Big Mo are weird because we're so young and we run and observatory. But we're not missing much. Big Mo says that all he's missing is a girlfriend."

"He should talk to Nanu," said Red. "Nanu's been single all his life."

"I'm single too," said Blue. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Red facepalmed.

"No," said Sophocles. "I'm a bit young for that. Big Mo's had girlfriends before."

"Too bad we couldn't get in the observatory," said Red, trying to change the subject.

"I know," said Sophocles. "Sorry about that."

"We'll just explore the rest of the mountain." said Red.

"Sure thing," said Sophocles. "If you want to visit Big Mo, he's over at his house in Hoku Town."

"Okay," said Red. "We'll keep that in mind."

Red and Blue took leave of Sophocles and took the trail down the mountain. They saw Minior flying overhead and flocks of Fearow roosting. Red and Blue admired the view for nearly half an hour.

"Wow!" said Red. "The view here is excellent!"

"I can see Malie City from here," said Blue, "and there's Mount Lanakila."

Red and Blue went down the mountain to the bus stop, where the shuttle bus was waiting. It took them back to Route 10. Red and Blue went to Hoku Town to visit Molayne. After they asked around for a bit, they found Molayne's house. Molayne was outside his house sunbathing. He was wearing a purple speedo and a pair of sunglasses. His blue bathrobe was on a chair.

"Molayne!" said Red.

Molayne looked up at Red and Blue.

"Hello, guys!" he said. "The observatory is closed today. Did you come to see me?"

"Yes," said Red. "We went to the observatory."

"Sophocles is helping the workers," said Molayne. "I guess you must have seen him." Red and Blue nodded their heads. Molayne got up and put on his bathrobe. "I'm not dressed. Maybe you can come into my house for lunch." Molayne led Red and Blue inside. He brought out a plate of sesame chicken and lo mein and three Ramune sodas. He put them on a traditional Japanese-style table. "I made so much of this food last night because I was expecting a visit from Professor Kukui and his fiancee, but they canceled their visit at the last minute. Do you like the table? It was donated to me by a worker from Hoenn."

"Yes," said Blue.

"Lo mein!" said Red. "Perfect!"

"Pick which soda you want," said Red.

Red chose green apple, Blue chose coconut, and Molayne chose lychee. Molayne told them how to open the sodas, since Ramune is the hard-to-open soda. The three of them began to eat.

"I really want to impress Olivia with my cooking," said Molayne.

"Olivia?" asked Blue.

"Don't tell this to anyone," said Molayne, "but I kinda have a little crush on her. She's really nice. I want to ask her out on a date someday. I try to get dating advice from my friend Professor Kukui. He and Professor Burnet are getting married next month."

Red and Blue looked at each other.

"So much talking about girlfriends lately..." said Blue. "And people here keep mistaking me and Red for a gay couple. Some little girl on the bus to Mount Hokulani thought that we were gay cousins."

Molayne burst out laughing so hard, he almost choked.

"God dammit," he said, "little kids can be so embarrassing. That girl must have embarrassed everyone on the bus."

"I know," said Red.

After the three of them finished their drinks, Molayne went to get more drinks.

"I love these Ramune sodas," said Blue, "but it's a pain to open them."

"It takes a bit of practice," said Molayne.

When Red, Blue, and Molayne were done with their food and drinks, Molayne decided to clean up.

"We have to get back to the hotel," said Red. "Blue wants to go to the pool."

"Just remember to wait an hour before you go in the pool," said Molayne.

"We'll remember," said Blue.

Red and Blue left. Molayne went to clean up everything. After he was done, he took off his bathrobe and went back to sunbathing.

Red and Blue went back to the bus stop, where they took the bus back to the hotel.


	24. Cousin Samson

**CHAPTER 24: COUSIN SAMSON**

Red and Blue arrived back at the hotel. Since it was really hot, they decided to put on their swimsuits and go to the pool.

While Red was relaxing in the water, he looked around.

"So much...red," he said.

"I know," said Blue. "There's a Red right in front of me."

Red laughed.

I have an idea," said Blue.

"Yes?" asked Red.

"We should go visit Gramps' cousin Samson later," said Blue. "He lives right in Malie City."

"Samson?" said Red. "I had almost forgotten about him. I'd love to get to meet him. I'm surprised I haven't met him yet."

"Samson doesn't venture out of Alola that often," said Blue. "He likes the warm climate."

"I like the warm climate here too," said Red. "Too bad the same can't be said of Kanto."

Red looked around again.

"I'm so glad it's just us here," said Red. "It seems that luck is on our side. We've got a nice, wet pool all to ourselves." Red floated on top of the water and looked around at the sky.

"Cut it out, Red," said Blue. "You don't want to fall asleep in the pool! Remember last time you did that?"

"Oh," said Red. "I remember now."

"We'll have plenty of time to nap later," said Blue.

"You're right, Blue," said Red.

Later that day, Red and Blue took the tour bus to Malie City. Red and Blue were awestruck by Malie City's beauty and oriental charm. Red took plenty of photos with his iPhone. Eventually, the two got off at a bus stop. Red looked around, continuing to admire the scenery.

"Where does Samson live?" Red asked Blue.

"His house is not too far from here," said Blue.

Blue showed Red the way to Samson's house. The two of them walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

"Samson!" said Blue. "Are you there?"

Samson opened the door.

"Alola, Blue," said Samson. He looked at Red. "Ah! Young master John Redmond Tajiri! Samuel has told me all about you." Samson shook Red's hand.

Blue laughed.

"That's my...real name," said Red. "People call me Red because my dad...er, Mom's ex-husband gave it to me. And I was the one who gave you the nickname Blue because you always carried around your blue blanket." Red turned to Samson. "Most people just call me Red."

Blue blushed.

"Come on in," said Samson. "'Belinda baked some fresh pandesal." Belinda was Samson's wife. "Want to come in and have some?"

"Of course!" said Red.

Red and Blue entered the house. Samson led the two to the kitchen. Samson's wife Belinda walked in. Red noticed that the orange tablecloth matched the orange muumuu that Belinda was wearing, as well as the orange walls.

"There's a lot of orange here," Red said to himself.

"Here you are, boys," said Belinda.

Belinda put down a basket of freshly baked pandesal. She poured two glasses of mango juice for Red and Blue.

"How's things been going?" Blue asked Samson.

"Research has been going well," said Samson. "I've been cataloging all the different regional variants in Alola, as well as elsewhere. Did you know that Alola is not the only place in the world with regional variants? Lots of countries have them."

"Interesting," said Blue.

Red took a big bite of his pandesal.

"Mmm," he said, "these rolls are good. I could eat these all day!"

"Red's enjoying Alola," said Blue. "If there's one thing he really likes about Alola, it's the food. We've been to lots of restaurants. We visited Molayne earlier and had lunch with him."

"True that," said Red.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" asked Belinda.

"We'll be happy to stay," said Blue.

"Excellent!" said Samson. "I'm going to be making grilled chicken and macaroni salad."

"Sounds delish!" said Red.

Red and Blue had dinner with Samson and Belinda.

"Hey, Blue," said Samson.

"Yes?" Blue asked Samson.

"Would you like to accompany me to the library?" asked Samon.

"Of course!" said Red and Blue.

"We'll be glad to help you with your research," said Red.


	25. At the Library

_**A/N:**_ _Sorry about the delay, fans!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 25: AT THE LIBRARY**

The next day, Red and Blue decided to accompany Samson to the library.

"This library is the foremost library in Alola," he told Red and Blue. "Many researchers spend time here."

Even though at first Red and Blue found the information on Alolan Forms interesting, they quickly got bored with it.

Red sighed.

"These books aren't very interesting," he told Blue.

"Maybe we can go read some comic books," said Blue.

"No, of course not!" said Red. "You can do that at any comic book store. I'd rather read real books."

"Whatever," said Blue.

"I think I'm going to go by myself," said Red. "I'll meet up with you later."

"Sure thing," said Blue.

Red decided to take a look around the library. He went upstairs to look at some old books.

"I don't know where to start," he said to himself.

Red eyeballed one shelf that was full of old books. He picked a dark red book and took it out. The book had dust on it, which Red blew off. He brought it over to a table and sat down so he could read it.

"Okay," said Red. He began reading the book.

 _Thirteen hundred years ago, Polynesian navigators reached Alola on their many voyages across the Pacific Ocean. At the time of the islands' settlement, the islands were mostly forested. It is said that many strange Pokemon lived on the islands, ones quite different from the Pokemon that inhabit Alola today. Such Pokemon were hunted to extinction by the Polynesian settlers._

Red saw a photograph of an idol that depicted a strange bird Pokemon. It looked like a goose, but its beak was like that of a turtle. This was an extinct Pokemon that once lived on Poni Island.

"I saw one of those at the temple in Lush Jungle," he said to himself. "Wow...extinct Pokemon are so cool."

Next to the idol was a picture of said bird Pokemon.

 _This bird Pokemon was one of several that later Alolans would call_ moa-nalo _, or "lost fowl". According to oral tradition, they lacked the power of flight. It is said that, like many island Pokemon are wont to, they had little fear of man, which unfortunately hastened their extinction._

"Yikes," said Red. "Maybe it's a good thing that I'm shy."

Red flipped several pages to another picture. There was a huge map of the Pacific Ocean. The map had various arrows showing the directions that the Polynesians migrated from Southeast Asia.

 _The Polynesians were expert navigators, and it was through their maritime expertise that they reached so many islands. By AD 1000, they had conquered most of what would later become known as Polynesia. Early Polynesians used the stars to navigate the oceans. It is said that they journeyed as far east as the west coast of South America, which is evident by Polynesian cuisines' inclusion of the sweet potato, which was well-established in their cuisines long before Europeans reached the region._

Red looked at the picture of a petrified sweet potato, which according to the book dated from the 13th century.

"This is amazing!" said Red. "Although I don't think I'm going to eat that sweet potato." He thought to himself. "Blue told me a few months ago that Samson makes delicious sweet potato fries. Maybe I should ask Samson if I can have some when we get back to his house."

"I think I'd like that too," said a voice. "I see you like that history book."

Red was startled and almost dropped the book. He looked to his right. A purple-haired girl was sitting next to him, looking at a book. Red looked at the girl.

"Who are you?" Red asked the girl.

"Who am I?" said the girl. "I'm Acerola, one of the Island Trial Captains."

"I'm Red," said Red. "I'm here with my...er, nephew Blue, as well as my dad's cousin Samson."

"My parents are friends of Samson's," said Acerola. "They tell me Samson's always looking at uninteresting books. I can tell - I can definitely tell. Seems like you like interesting books. I've read that book several times. It's got lots of pictures."

"I wish I could take it home with me," said Red, "but then I'd feel bad about taking something that isn't mine."

"I know how that feels," said Acerola. "Some of these books are so old, the librarians won't let just anyone handle them."

"I like reading old books," said Red. "It's like looking at a portal to another era."

"I agree," said Acerola.

Blue came over and looked at Red.

"Hey, Red!" yelled Blue. "Why are you looking at these boring old books?"

The librarian, a fat, matronly woman, marched over to Blue and opened her big mouth.

"NO TALKING!" she yelled. "THIS IS A LIBRARY! THAT MEANS YOU HAVE TO BE QUIET!"

"Sorry," said Blue. The librarian walked away.

"Hypocritical, much?" said Red.

"I know..." said Blue.

"I have no idea who let her be a librarian," said Acerola. "At this rate, she's this close to being fired."

"You didn't answer my question, Red," said Blue, speaking more quietly.

"I'm enjoying these books a lot more than the ones you were looking at," said Red.

"Whatever," said Blue. "And I've got something else to tell you."

"What?" asked Red.

"Samson told us that we are going to have sweet potato fries when we get back to his house," said Blue.

Red blushed.

"I guess I can predict the future," he said.

Acerola laughed.

"I'll put the book away," said Red. He got up and put away the book he was reading.

"Then you want to come with us?" asked Blue.

"Maybe later," said Red. "I'm going to read more old books with Acerola here."

"Okay," said Blue. "Suit yourself."

Blue walked away.

* * *

Luckily, less than a month after Red and Blue visited the library, the loud librarian was fired. Don't worry, the fic's not over - we're about to get into the next chapter soon!


	26. Zeno Escapes

**CHAPTER 26: ZENO ESCAPES**

And now we need to get back to Zeno.

Zeno had broke free of his mysterious captors, zapping them (but keeping them alive for now) and running away.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

Zeno ran deep into the mountainous woods of Ula'ula Island, looking for Red and Blue so they could protect him from harm. And surely enough, Red and Blue were in the woods on their way to the hotel.

"Wow," said Red. "Samson's really cool. Not only does he regularly donate to the library, he's got a little library of his own in his basement. And he knows how to surf!"

"I've been wondering," said Blue. "We haven't been surfing at all this trip. Maybe we can go surfing. I heard Route 15 is a great spot."

"But we didn't bring surfboards," said Red.

"Maybe we can rent a pair of surfboards," said Blue. "The beaches always have rentals."

Red and Blue saw a huge, dark plane flying overhead.

"What the hell is that?" asked Blue.

"That's a military plane," said Red. "There's a military training area not too far from here."

"Cool!" said Blue. "Hey, Red...I think you'd look cool with a military buzz cut."

Red cringed.

"Like I would ever get one of those," said Red, primping his hair. "I like my hair."

"I like my hair too," said Blue.

Then, suddenly...

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

"It's Zeno," said Red. "He's looking for us."

Red and Blue looked around for Zeno. They eventually came to a peculiar-looking black tree.

"Wow," said Blue, "what a funny tree."

"That tree looks suspicious," said Red.

"Let's touch it," said Blue.

"Blue..." said Red.

Blue touched the "tree". It started to make static-y noises.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

The "tree" started to move its arms and legs, revealing itself as Zeno.

"Hello, Zeno!" said Red.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!" said Zeno.

"It's me, Blue," said Blue, "and that hunk over here is Red."

"Blue, stop that!" said Red.

Zeno giggled.

"Argh," said Red.

The Xurkitree made several strange noises, as if he were trying to tell a story.

"You're on the run?" asked Blue.

"You need us for help?" asked Red.

Zeno nodded his head.

"Don't worry, Zeno," said Red. "We'll protect you."

Red took out a Master Ball and held it out to Zeno. The ball successfully captured Zeno, even though it was not a Beast Ball - although Red did not know of the Beast Balls that the Aether Foundation made. Red looked at the ball and smiled, knowing that Zeno was safe with him. Red then summoned Zeno out of the ball.

"We'll need to give you clothes," said Blue.

"He's 13 feet tall," said Red. "Nothing we wear will fit on him."

"Nonsense!" said Blue. "I've got a fat-sized speedo with me." Blue took a purple speedo out of the bag.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!" said Zeno.

"Where did you get that?" asked a shocked Red.

"I went to the store at midnight while you were asleep," said Blue. "It was on clearance."

Zeno grabbed the speedo and put it on.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"

"It looks kind of cute on him," said Red, "I guess..."

"That's a good boy," said Blue, petting Zeno. "Who's a good boy?"

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!" said Zeno.

Red looked around.

"We'll need to keep you in the ball for a while," said Red.

"Bzzzt..." said Zeno sadly.

"We don't want you to get caught," said Red.

"Bzzzt! Bzzzt!" said Zeno.

Red put Zeno back in the Master Ball.

"Let's keep you in here," said Red. "The people you're running from might be looking for you - and me too!"

Meanwhile, atop a satellite tower at the military training area, Tapu Koko, Tapu Lele, Tapu Bulu, and Tapu Fini were watching.

"I question the wisdom of that Red guy," said Tapu Bulu.

"I fear he will use that Xurkitree to terrorize people," said Tapu Fini.

"He could be a spy for the Aether Foundation," said Tapu Bulu. "I cannot trust that Lusamine. She's always causing problems for us. Look at what she did to Po Town by letting Team Skull - and keeping the town's mayor in confinement."

"How do you know all this?" asked Tapu Koko.

"I've been watching Lusamine from afar," said Tapu Bulu. "I know how she is."

"Relax, my fellow tapus!" said Tapu Lele. "Maybe Red will use the Ultra Beast's power for good."

"I'm not sure about it," said Tapu Koko. "We've been fighting the Ultra Beasts for so long, we know we can't trust them."

"But we can't trust the Beast Busters either..." said Tapu Lele.

"The Beast Busters?" asked the other tapus.

"They're out for that Xurkitree's blood," said Tapu Lele, "or copper, to be more accurate."

"We need to keep an eye on Red and Blue," said Tapu Fini. "We'll need to know whether they can trust them or not."

"You're right," said Tapu Koko.

"I agree," said Tapu Bulu.

The satellite atop the tower started to move.

"Let's get out of here!" said Tapu Lele.

The tapus dispersed.

After a while, Red and Blue got through the woods and went back to the hotel, where they went to bed.


	27. A Mudsdale with No Name

**CHAPTER 27: A MUDSDALE WITH NO NAME**

The next day was hot, bright, and sunny. Blue thought of a good excursion to take - to take the train to the Haina Desert. They dressed in the same outfits they wore at Wela Volcano Park, plus cowboy hats with strings.

Red and Blue arrived in Bulu Town, a small town located on the northwestern edge of the desert. There was a gorge leading to the desert located above.

"Haina Desert is said to be brutal," said Red. "At the end of it is the Ruins of Abundance."

"We'll rent Mudsdale to cross the desert," said Blue.

Red and Blue rented a pair of Mudsdale. The two of them trotted off into the desert wilderness and began to sing the song "A Horse With No Name".

 _I've been through the desert on a horse with no name_

 _It felt good to be out of the rain_

 _In the desert you can remember your name_

 _'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain_

 _La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la_

 _La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la_

After a while, Red and Blue were getting heated.

"Wow, Red," said Blue, "you're turning red!"

"Ha, ha," said Red sarcastically.

"No, really," said Blue.

Red looked down at his arms and legs. They were burning up in the desert sun.

"Whoa," he said.

"Hey, Red," said Blue.

"Yes?" asked Red.

"Want to race me?" asked Blue.

"Sure," said Red.

"Giddy up, horsey!" said Blue.

Red and Blue rode faster, across the sands and rocks of the Haina Desert, even running across hard, rocky grounds. They gazed at the towering rock formations and the cacti that were growing in the dryness.

"Just don't let the horse run free," said Blue.

"Of course not," said Red. "Nine days haven't passed."

Red and Blue looked in the distance. There was a large, dry riverbed leading to a hallowed area. This was where the Ruins of Abundance stppd.

"There's the ruins!" said Blue. "Boy, would I love to see those ruins. Maybe we'll get to see Tapu Bulu."

"I hope so," said Red, "but then again, we've been having bad luck with these tapus."

"You think?" asked Blue.

"Of course, Blue," said Red. "Tapu Lele attacked us and erased our memories. I'm sure this tapu isn't going to be any different. Something tells me the tapus are watching us. I feel like they're stalking us..."

"Stalking us?" laughed Blue.

"I'm serious!" said Red. "They must recognize that both of us are strong Pokemon Trainers and want to mess with our heads."

"You're being delirious," said Blue, "but somehow, I think you're right." Blue cleared his throat. "Last one to the Ruins of Abundance is a rotten egg!"

"That would mean you," said Red.

Red and Blue raced towards the Ruins of Abundance.

While this was going on, Tapu Bulu was hovering over a large butte, looking down at them. He shook his head and let out a soft, calm moo.

 _La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la_

 _La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la_


	28. Ruins of Abundance

**CHAPTER 28: RUINS OF ABUNDANCE**

Red and Blue arrived at the Ruins of Abundance. The two of them got off their Mudsdale. Red saw the amazing outside structure, which was decorated with red paint.

"Wow," said Red. "It's amazing. I should take some pictures."

Red took out his iPhone and took pictures of the ruins.

"It says in the brochure that Tapu Bulu is a Grass type," said Blue. "That's really ironic, considering that its home is out in the desert."

"I know, right?" said Red. "Let's go inside and check it out."

Red and Blue went inside the ruins, looking around. They saw that there were piles of sand here and there, and statues of Tapu Bulu that decorated the walls. The whole area smelled of tumbleweeds.

While they were in there, they passed by a young man with tan skin, blond hair, a red skirt, and horns. He was sleeping.

"Who's that strange man?" asked Blue.

"I'd rather not find out," said Red. "Let's go further in."

As they went deeper into the ruins, Red and Blue noticed that there were flowering cacti growing all around.

"Look at that," said Red. "The flowers in here must be a sign of Tapu Bulu's fortitude."

"Those are cacti, Red," said Blue. "They're supposed to grow in are climate like this."

Red bent down to take a look at the cactus flowers. Unfortunately, he accidentally pricked his finger on a large cactus.

"OWWWWWWW!" said Red. "I pricked myself on the fucking cactus!"

"Let me see!" said Blue.

Blue tried to remove the cactus needle, but to no avail. In fact, he only made the needle feel worse.

"Do you have a tweezers?" asked Red.

"No, Red," said Blue.

Red groaned. He walked over to a large stone and sat down.

Blue looked around for something that he could use to remove the needles. Unfortunately, there was nothing useful. Blue passed by a sacrificial altar and towards another room. He looked around for something useful.

"Nothing's in here but cacti," he said. "Hey...what is that?"

Blue found a bunch of saguaro fruit that were laying beside a bunch of saguaro - these massive cacti served as part of Tapu Bulu's garden. Blue gathered some of the fruit and returned to where Red was sitting.

"Red!" said Blue. "Look what I found."

"Fruit?" asked Red. "That's no good! I can't remove the needles with those!"

"No, Red," said Blue. "I've got an idea. Come with me to the altar."

Blue led Red to the altar room. The two of them noticed an offering bowl.

"I'm going to put the fruit in the offering bowl," said Blue, "and then we'll utter a prayer."

"Will this work?" asked Red.

"Trust me, it will," said Blue.

"Okay," said Red.

Blue put the fruit inside the offering bowl. After that was done, he and Red prayed to Tapu Bulu. For a few minutes, nothing happened. Red was about to give up, when suddenly, the room illuminated. Red and Blue heard a moo.

"Who has come to seek me?" asked a voice.

"We did," said Blue. "I'm Blue, and this is Red."

"I come to seek healing," said Red. "I have cactus needles stuck in my fingers."

"Cactus needles?" said the voice. "Place your hand in the offering bowl and wait two minutes."

Red placed his hand on the offering bowl. He sat there for two minutes, and then he heard a twinkling sound. When the two minutes were up, Red lifted his hand. He saw that the needles in his fingers had disappeared, and even the pain was gone.

"Thank you," said Red.

Red heard another moo. Tapu Bulu appeared before him and Blue.

"Tapu Bulu!" said Red and Blue in unison.

"Yes, it is I," said Tapu Bulu, mooing. "I have healed you."

"Oh, wow!" said Red. "I'm very grateful for your help."

"Don't mention it," said Tapu Bulu.

Red reached out and pet Tapu Bulu's bell.

"You're such a nice tapu," said Red.

"Thanks," said Tapu Bulu. He mooed again.

"You like being petted there," said Blue. "What about your horns?"

Tapu Bulu growled at Blue.

"Oh, sorry," said Blue. "Can I at least touch your nose ring?"

"Grabbing my nose ring will result in a thousand-year curse," said Tapu Bulu, "so you better not."

"Sorry," said Blue. "I'd rather not be cursed for the next thousand years."

"We'll be dead by the time the curse is up, anyway," said Red.

"But I'll still be there," said Tapu Bulu. "Me and the other tapus are immortal. Tapu Koko and Tapu Lele told me that you two have met them."

Red and Blue gasped.

"So that's who those temple guards were," said Red. "Let me guess...you were the man we saw sleeping."

Tapu Bulu transformed into the young man Red and Blue saw earlier.

"Right you are!" he said.

"Why do you guys do it?" asked Blue.

"That's so we are able to blend in with you humans," said Tapu Bulu.

"But no one here dresses like the ancient Alolans like you guys do," said Red.

"Well, we're not fashion-conscious," said Tapu Bulu. "We haven't been for thousands of years."

Red and Blue laughed.

Tapu Bulu reverted to his Pokemon form.

"Thanks for the offering," said Tapu Bulu, mooing. He was now munching on the saguaro fruit.

"You're welcome!" said Red and Blue. "Bye!"

"Bye!" said Tapu Bulu. He let out a nice, loud moo.

Red and Blue went back outside, where their Mudsdale were waiting. The two of them mounted their Mudsdale and rode through the desert. By now it was starting to get dark. The two of them returned their Mudsdale at Bulu Town and took a bus back to the hotel, where they had dinner. After dinner, the two of them relaxed for the rest of the night.

 _La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la_

 _La, la, la la la la, la la la, la, la_


End file.
